I don't take myself too seriously and like that in a partner, if you are quick witted and sarcastic game on lol. If your gorgeous on the outside and beautiful on the inside even better.

I'm currently in training for the International soot juggling finals in Rio de Janerio.....wish me luck!




Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin
next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at
him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping-Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks
"Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some
furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into
the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, you tart,
I'm married!

Broken furniture £85.26
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Red Rose bud £3.00
Two Aspirins £0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless...



____/\_____\O/____
if you know anyone
who has been eaten by a shark put this on ur profile

After building Tower Bridge out of match sticks, we could paint a wall and watch it dry