I'll get a date when pigs fly..... Hey, the swine flu[flew] so maybe....
Then again, with my recent schedule, I haven't had much time. It's getting to be the holidays and it seems I need a date for all those social events. This year, the theme seems to be dancing and that makes me feel like Charley Brown.

This profile is about me. If you want a perfect profile, there are plenty of "players" offering that. I don't intend to compete with profiles full of "inaccuracies" as they win every time.

Sorry but I'm not much of a dancer, own a motorcycle, or pretend to be a cowboy......but I can change.......if I have to. (Trivia question: where did I steal that?) I was born in Oklahoma and traveled much of the US. I learned to sail and attended school for a couple of years as a kid living near the canals and broads in East Anglia, England. I have been accused of not being Caucasian, I guess from the pictures, but short of some native American I am a pale face. I noticed all my pix are squinting in the sun and my teeth don't show. I really do have eyes and teeth! I am not pretentious and prefer casual attire over fancy duds but I do clean up. I have not found much fun in the bar scene, too much gamesmanship trying to be "cool". My voice gets sore from screaming sweet nothings in your ear to overcome the noise. I'm way behind everyone else's quota when it comes to drinking alcohol. I try to have at least one beer or wine a month but I am a few years behind schedule. I prefer blond beer but I'm not so picky about women. I'm a beginner about wines but have a number of bottles I want to try. No excuse to open one yet. Do you have an opener? I seem to have lost mine. If your cup is half full, I'll do my best to fill it up.

I'm a Blood donor with lots of T-shirts to show for it. The blood bank is probably not a good first date though but I'm willing to try it as I'm probably due for an oil change. Up for a juice and Nutter Butter dinner? For those who can't read between the lines, I'm not infected with anything, including the aforementioned swine flu. I'm not vain or addicted to working out but I'm not allergic to fun either. I work out a little but for some reason, I don't seem to get any taller than 5'7" no matter how hard I work at it. If you are taller and still interested, you need to let me know as taller women tend to delete without reading my well crafted and entertaining prose. I could certainly use more exercise but that personal support is missing. Are you that person? If you want a tall jock or someone "simple", look elsewhere as you are too simple for me.

I can fix just about anything that can be fixed and probably have the tool to do it. There is always another excuse to buy a new toy. I am "successful" in that I have technical patents and a well established technical reputation but I'm not a sugar daddy or complete geek. (Hey cuty, want to come up and see my patents?) I love to learn, observe nature and people, enjoy sailing, and contemplating really complex issues like where is the cordless phone. My humor will either pass over without being noticed or send your drink out your nose. I prefer the latter so one best be very sharp. There is a lot of hidden humor in this essay, be careful. To me, humor is something to make us think and laugh at ourselves. I may break the ice with a magic trick but I am too much of a klutz to juggle no matter how much I try. I am with Phds all day and sometimes worry they are the only people to get my humor. I prefer Leno over Letterman and Dilbert over Doonesbury. I like thrilling movies and some plot between the action scenes. I can discuss just about any technical topic to more depth than probably anyone you have ever met. I will make you think and might make you angry. Perhaps that is why I hang out on the forums.

I have won several cooking contests so I go by their opinion that I can cook, not my kid's opinions. My great grandmother, grandmother, mother, and sister are/were fantastic cooks, some with published recipes. My kids all cook too. If only the kids did the dishes. Want to help? I will be joining my son for thanksgiving in a restaurant near the college instead of cooking this year. How sad is that?


I've been a scout leader and recreational sailor so yes, I can tie knots but I'm not sure about using them for kinky games. I feel kids are to be inspired, not disciplined. Discipline comes from within. Mine are doing great but I don't have any bumper stickers about them. I am not a big sports fan, except when my kids play. My kids get priority over internet dates so be patient but my priorities can change for the right person. Until we've met, your a stranger and that makes my kids more important. As for pets, I have a rescue Corgy who loves to play fetch....nonstop it seems. I am a volunteer in several organizations that take much of my free time. They are a priority too but the right person can change that priority. The only thing we truly own in life is that part of us we give away.

It would be simple to describe some ideal of what I want in a woman but I would be describing an object, not a person. I will leave that exercise up to the players who are practiced in saying just what you want to hear. Too many profiles are way short on who a person is and many are sprinkled with "inaccuracies". When it comes to internet dates, until I know more about someone, the kids and the lawn need attention first. I'm not shopping for a possession, I'm looking for a passion. I do want someone older than my 40 year old lawn tractor but I'll listen to arguments as I'm still a guy after all. I want someone who has brains and is willing to use them. I am not fond of brain atrophy. I want someone who embraces honesty, idealism, fairness and passion but has a mind open to learning. I want to look in the eyes and see the wonder of the universe, fantasy, and intense reality. I want to help you reach your goals, make new goals and support mine as well. My life has been an unbelievable adventure and I want to keep the adventure going. My kids, and yours if you have them, are part of that adventure if only for a while as they do grow up. I don't see people as separate from the life they have lived as it is a result of the choices they made and will continue to make. To be fair, I don't like to speak to ghosts that can't be seen. I want a picture. It's a guy thing, deal with it. I've become pretty gun shy with the unread delete thing from my first contacts so if you find I'm interesting, send me a note.

The pictures have captions for when and where. I have hiked and/or camped the Grand Canyon, Giant red woods, Big bend, Yellowstone and many other places. I don't intend to take on what I used to do in my youth but still want to have fun. My passport is current if somewhat underused.

Bring yourself, not somebody you think I would like better, to a quiet place for lunch. I'm open for other suggestions. I heard about a new Chinese place nearby: Wok the Dog..... I like to sail even when the weather's rough and always have a boat ready. Yes the boat leans and something might break. Just scream if it makes you feel better. A picnic in a secluded cove, build sand castles on the beach, or watch the wildlife back on the ranch in Oklahoma. We can pull out my telescope and see the rings of Saturn or count some moons around Jupiter. I like stimulating conversation especially if the ribs hurt after, and sometimes, skip the conversation. I think that could be difficult while watching a movie, dancing, or front row at some ear-splitting concert but I'm flexible. Oh, bring a bottle opener. I think mine is with the cordless phone. I guess I better check that hole in the couch. Want to join me on the couch and help?