The guys are telling me that I'm too old school and that I need to get out more to effectively meet a good woman. Actually, it sounded vaguely like them telling me I'm simply too old to get anything right by myself. Anyways, they insist things have changed for the better since I last went out on a date; then they tell me, women also have changed for the better as they quote wild stories like:

1) ladies are going out to clubs and driving fancy sports cars
2) asking men out on first dates
3) making more at work than we do
4) being honest, open and sexually alluring.

Naturally, I told them that this just isn't possible, but they insist it is all true. If deep down, secretly, this is your fastlane lifestyle I need to warn you, I am certain that I don't have the strength in my ticker for that. But if your accustomed to something slower, like say, watching grass grow or watching paint dry, you need to know right now; that sounds perfectly exciting to me.

Oh, I'll have an idea by then.