Hello, good evening and welcome, to whatever this is...

I wonder sometimes, if anyone really reads these profiles?

In case anyone does...

My name's Bernie, I'm tall(ish), Dark(ish), and possibly the other ish to some. I've got a dry sense of humour, and have been known to be able to hold a conversation. I'm told I have a soothing voice, and an interesting (?) sense of humour. Not sure about the last bit, but I'm here, so must have some sort of SOH...

I live in Southampton, but work in Hook, yes, there is such a place, it's near Basingstoke, which shouldn't be a place.

I'd like to meet someone who is honest, also has a sense of humour, is reasonably articulate, and has nice eyes. Feminine also helps matters, so does a lack of tattoos.

Shall I go on about leaping out of planes and bungee jumping? Erm, no, but if you want to, feel free, I'll hold your coat. That having been said, doesn't mean I have no sense of adventure...I once drove at 71mph! See, a devil me...

Just in case anyone is still reading...
I'm English, not Russian, it says so on my passport.
I am not married, with someone or a 'player'. Unless you count the lottery (which I consistantly loose!)
I've recently given up smoking, but am past the grumpy stage!
I don't speak in text speak, nor do I write in it, please don't message me in it.
The words 'Hun' and 'Babe', apart from sounding chavvy, refer to those that live between Poland and France/Holland/Belgium and pigs. I was never in the German Police, so please, use my name, which obviously isn't Attilla the Swine!

Somewhere we can hold a conversation, nothing like getting to know someone face to face.