Here is an example of how men are stupid, taken from a single week of my own life. After a few months of singleness, wishing I could meet somebody really special, I sit down on POF and write a profile. It was pretty good, I guess. Mail rolls in. And then I go to a Halloween party and there she is: Somebody special. (And if you're one of the girls I wrote to before Halloween, and you're just reading my profile now, sorry, kid, you should have read faster!)

But that's not the stupid part. The stupid part is that I went to a lot of trouble* to find a girlfriend, yet I am already dreading the upheaval. If you could see me right now, you would see the quintessentially manly life at sunset, soon to be a bittersweet memory.

I already know I'm going to have to buy more towels, and probably a comforter ... what is that, anyway? Extra toothbrushes will start sprouting any minute now in the bathroom. Tubes of wierd-looking pastel gunk not far behind. Then a drawer in my dresser with nothing of mine in it. I tell you, if it one day stops being cool for my snowboard to be in the living room, I swear I'll have no choice but to... move it, I guess. I did say she was special. Can I show you her picture? No, I guess that wouldn't be cool.

So, anyway, I'll put up a lousy picture so that nobody wastes their time reading this, but in case there are any stragglers asking the reasonable question, "Why are you still here?" my answer is, check out the forums. They can be interesting, and you meet some cool friends on there sometimes.

Later, skaters!

- D

* - I did so go to a lot of trouble. Had to put that costume together myself, and there was a lineup at Value Village.

If there are any guys reading this, here's how I impressed my apparent girlfriend on our first date. It was also a Halloween party -- a different one, not the one we met at. Anyway, here's what you do:

1) Get a costume from a kids' book girls will remember fondly. Mind was out of Curious George. In retropect I think it made me look sensitive. I mean more sensitive.
2) Go to a party where there is a whole band setup and about five guitarists but nobody who can play drums.
3) Suddenly decide that you can play drums. Be right, or at the very least, less wrong than any other numpty who wants to try. Get everyone dancing.
4) Get so into what you're doing that you forget for several hours to talk to that girl you seem to remember bringing.
5) Go upstairs and rescue her from all the other guys hitting on her.
6) Pull that out of the fire somehow.

Thank me later, brothers, good luck!