I am the enigma, I'm the riddle wrapped in a question served with a side of sarcasm. I'm the boy your mom warned you about (the motorcycles the leather) yet I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet and the last of the true good guys. I'm not a trouble maker or hooligan, I fight to keep people safe, not for sport or popularity and I absolutely hate it, but your only given so many gifts in this life why not use them for th greater good of humantiy instead of being an a.s.s.hole!!! I'm a SWM 34y/o and have absolutely no frigging idea what I'm looking for (come on if I did would I still be single???) obviously qualified applicants should be attractive, funny, sexy, not psychotic, and be able to balance a checkbook (hey someone has to teach me!!!)while balancing in stilettos, (Don't hate me a mans gotta have his standards!!!) I'm fully independent I'm not looking for someone to replace mom, Although someone who can cook like her is a plus... I've recently moved from the south side of chicago to the far south suburbs into my first house, havent met anyone here yet!!! I think I need a tour guide because if it wasn't for the fact chewy was cross bred with a GPS i'd get lost going on walks!!! Yes I still have a goatee, no I am not a 90's survivalist I look friggin 12 without it!!!

P.S. If you drink like your surviving on the oxygen in the liquid, Smoke like my tail pipes, Or live in the drama filled world of make believe please pass up my profile and seek serious psychiatric help!!!!

Who knows if I did I'd be on a first date not here looking for one!!!