RUNNING MY FIRST HALF MARATHON A WEEK ON SUNDAY I CANT WAIT

These actually were said,i know cos i was there to witness these FEMALE statements.......apparently there LOGICAL,will let you decide yourself!!!!...BUT PLEASE REMEMBER ITS JUST FUN!!!

1) Woman to her son in ASDA......now dont you run off son,because if you get lost i won't know where to find you!!!!!
2) I was having a conversation with a FEMALE friend of mine about "slugs & snails" and there speed of movement ......when she said..............have you ever noticed how fast they move when your not watching!!!!!
3) I got a TEXT MESSAGE from a FEMALE that i "no longer" speak to and her text message read.....i know you wont reply,but how are you doing!!!!!
4) If you fall and break your leg,don't come running to me!!!!!

AND WOMEN WONDER WHY MEN CANT UNDERSTAND THEM LOL

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total revamp of my profile

Hiya,am mark

A brain teaser for you before i go on bout me etc.....


think of a number ANY number...double it...add 8 to it...1/2 your answer...take away the 1st number you thought of...the answer is at the bottom of the page

things that make you think

1) why do buses for the blind have windows???
2) why do they sterilize the lethal injection???
3) why did kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets???
4) why do blind people wear sunglasses???
5) what is the point of words with silent letters???
6) How the hell does a blind dog know where to go?
7) when a child plays up and you say to them - do you want to go to bed - or do you want a smack - do you really expect them to say YES???
8) If everyone gave money as presents for xmas instead of presents - would the boxing day sales actually exist???
9) Why do pizza's come in square boxes???


Back to more about me

am 48 yrs young i do love to laugh and joke but also very sensitive at the right times,i was a chef by trade and had been for 16yrs,- i have worked on ferries,liners and various other marine vessels,but recently due to illness,(which i recovered from)have changed jobs and got my feet firmly back on dry land,PERMANANTLY - and am now a CCTV operator.
I love playing snooker with my 19yr old son though i dont know why cos he beats me everytime,cinema,reading,tenpin bowling are other things i love doing,walks along the beach in the early morning listening to the silence and watching the sun come up is also another love of mine,i DONT lie,i DONT cheat,though i do flirt.....i have as most of us been hurt in the past but there comes a time when you have to move on............anything else you would like to know please feel free to ask,i dont bite.......

oh and by the way the answer to the brain teaser is - 4

a first date???something to do and break the ice,tenpin bowling maybe??then a meal and a beer,guess we would know if we clicked by then or not lol