I'm a very busy man with a bit of an organizational problem. I really should have a personal assistant. Preferably one who smells nice and offers free backrubs. Please deposit all applications in my inbox.

Life's too short to take things too seriously. Or maybe it's too short to not take anything seriously, but I prefer the first one. In other words, sense of humor is a high priority. Especially if it's a slightly morbid, twisted kind of funny.

I do not actually barbecue kittens. Raw is much healthier.

Preferably bowling, or maybe a baseball game. Something where there wouldn't be constant intense pressure to be entertaining, where there was a bit of a distraction to smooth over any bumpy awkward patches. Although awkward can be romantic. Right?