hmm. So you really want to know a little bit about me do you? You poor, foolish creature you! I am a cross between Victor Meldrew & Homer Simpson with a little Basil Fawlty thrown in.

I am:

I am extremely sarcastic and have a dry wit. I also like to be very silly at times and act like a dork.
I am a white Ethiopian.
I am very domesticated. I cook, clean, wash, iron, etc.
I am an emetophobic.
I am a tiny bit agoraphobic.
I am extremely open & honest and detest lies.
I am a bit of a worrier.
I am now getting bored with this.


Dislikes:

I don't like nightclubs.
I don't like dining out.
I don't like big crowds of people.
I don't like or use public transport.
I dislike throwing up and dislike seeing or hearing people throw up.
I dislike shellfish.
I dislike bannanas.
I dislike tomatoes.
I dislike rugby.
I dislike golf.
I dislike cricket.
I dislike snooker.
I dislike spiders.
I don't like text speak.
I dislike drugs.
I dislike politics.
I dislike argumentative drunks.
I dislike depressed, suicidal drunks.
I dislike how there is always one baked bean left in the can that I can't get out no matter how hard I shake the can. Meaning I have to dirty a spoon just to get it out as I can't leave it in there.
I dislike having to pick my dog's poo up out of the back yard.
Actually we might be here all day so I'll move onto my "likes"

I know the list is pretty long (and it's only the start of it!) ha! But at least you can't accuse me of being honest!



Likes:

I like Liverpool FC.
I like sitting on my bumbum watching naff tv. Especially Lost, Most Haunted, Poker, Afterlife, Robin Hood, Fawlty Towers, Two Pints of Lager, Bo Selecta, & Little Britain. Also plenty of reality tv like Big Brother, X-Factor, I'm A Celebrity, etc.
I like sitting on my bumbum watching DVD's. Especially Comedies or things with vampires in! \m/
I like sitting on my bumbum, spending nearly all my time wasting it away online.
I like sitting on my bumbum listening to music. My favourite band is Evanescence. I would like to love Amy Lee in the bumbum.
I like Borat. He is a very nice man.
I like playing Poker. And do it daily.
I like my dog Spike. He is a boxer cross. He is warm.
I like my parrot Max. She is an African Grey. She is noisey.
I like Tom Green.
I like Haribo.
I like Strawberry Laces.
I like thunderstorms.
I like old graveyards.
I like Vampires.
I like to pretend that I am retarded.
I like stopping filling in this profile right now as I'm bored to tears with it.

*************************************************************************************

Seriously, tho. Please don't even bother contact me if you're going to mess me around and waste my time. Been there, got the t-shirt. I'm also not looking for just sex or a one night stand (yes pretty shocking for a guy I know!).

I'm an easy going guy who likes to have a laugh and who hate's talking about himself. So that's enough about me. So, let's talk about you instead! :D lol. Who are you? You are fun? You like to have a laugh? You're caring? considerate? tactful? & kind-hearted? You think there is more to life than going out getting drunk everynight at tacky nightclubs?! You are looking for a genuine, long-term, committed relationship? You don't mind getting dog's hairs on your black trousers? You have your own hair & teeth?! A Pulse?! Awesome! If you answer "yes" to all of the above questions (or at least one of them! ha!) then you'll do for me! Then please feel free to drop me a message! Hope to hear from you soon! :)

Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married