Hi! You won't like me! Here's why:
(better get some popcorn)
Dabbles in graffiti.
Abby sense of humor ~ only remembers scarring, sick jokes.
Fidgits with things until they're broken, then hides them.
Belly button is neither an innie or an outie.
A similar users search at POF brings nothing.
Once messaged someone [at POF] for an 'intimate encounter'. Oh, huge crime. I wear such scars.
Been cursed at in seventeen languages.
Barely interested in your [insert animal or clown/mime collection here]. Unless it's over 500 peices. Then I'll have a few questions.
All I really want is a pedicure.
Feels confident that only the wrong people breed.
Thinks gyms are for homos.
Encourages practical jokes.
Aware of the difference between irony and coincidence.
Thinks some drugs aren't so bad.
Capricorn by template.
Only dances the robot, but can kick some robot ass.
Leaves the fridge open.
Never watches tv. Finds dung beetles more engaging than [insert your 'cool' tv program here].
Will not 'holla @ u', or 'hit u up'.
Take ME shopping.
Keeps pet termites.
Suspicious of the normal people.
Frequently fasts for no reason.
Checks your spelling.
Girlier than your best attempts.
Made 10 grand on ebay, dumpster diving.
Imp.
Really goes for orgastic sneezes, especially those occuring one right after the other.
Enjoys WPA projects, like tiny dioramas depicting great moments of man's hubris.
Likes the feeling of tears from plucked nose hairs.
Looks hotter in your outfits than you do.
Eavesdrops for money.
Loves that little chartreuse bubbly thing in a level.
Reasonably sure cigars are stupid and no one really enjoys them, not even the smoker.
B*i*t*c*h*y at will.
Relishes throwing things out..."just because".
Doesn't like the neighbors.
Collects drier lint in warm pastel hues for holiday flower arrangments.
Enjoys a party that no one attends.
Ditto with bars.
Good with hands, but probably won't fix your toilet.
Never participates in 'fun group activities'.
Avoids simpleton idioms like 'get 'r done', 'bring it on', let's roll, and the doorknobs that use them.
Loves to attract and tease bats. No, not baseball bats.
Appreciates stolen milk crates in bright happy colors.
Not "down with" anything.
Knows how to appear incredibly interesting, but only online.
Has no discernable future.
Hates sticky stuff.
Cultivated maladies: O.C.D., manic, delusional, gender dysphoric, ADD, hyperactive, addicted to internal toxins, nascarcamoharley freak (just kidding!), generally twitchy, mutters near others, very clean hands.
And if you read all this hoping for a punchline or some kind of payout....sorry. Have a dancing pickle
If it got to a date..sit and chat about whatever comes to mind. No movies. I guess dinner would be okay. Coffee/Drink would be cool too. Love to IM. Chat?
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