About Me

I'm always looking forward to the future and finding the good and fun parts of it. I'm extremely confident but I know my shortcomings. I know to admit when I'm wrong. I don't have enough fingers for all the pies I want to get my fingers into. I'm privileged to have a lot of diverse friends from all walks of life. I get passionately involved in my big interests in my life. I like snow more than sun. I prefer character to cute, goats to kittens and listening to music. I know how to treat a woman with a breakfast tray. Sport is for doing not watching. T.V. is chewing gum for your eyes. I'm affectionate, have my romantic but original moments, appreciate fun and funny, talk and write too much..... I've been a salesman, computer nerd, company Manager, bad dancer, good lover, but mostly tried hard to be a good man and a better man. I will be a lot of other things before I am done, but I would most like a woman to take care of, to inspire and be inspired by....

About you

You can make me smile even when you're not with me. You can be passionate and spontaneous. You would look great coming out of a genie's bottle and know what my three wishes would be. You can love deeply and be loved. You don't live in the past and expect the best of the future. You can smile even when soaked on a wet day. You are mostly bubbly and light but sometimes dark. You would never take me too seriously and could make me laugh in case I took you too seriously. You have a great looking little black number as well as an old pair of jeans that have become part of the family.Must Love Kissing. You know how to change your mind at the last moment and make it seem the most sensible thing in the world. You love and adore me despite all my imperfections and you always will.


Embrace the idea that no matter what has happened in your relationships up until now, the future can be different. So in a sense, each person who comes into our lives is "the perfect partner" for us if we use these experiences that we have with them to heal, learn and grow.


" Top Things To Do To Piss People Off At Wal Mart "

While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

Use a large bottle of V8 and make a trail from the Tampon isle to the Womens Washroom

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

I do physical labour.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss



The Response:

Dear P. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised,

The administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed your assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

Female
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