My name iz Scrappy Coco.

Your Mr. Right made a left when you were upside down trying to be real by conforming. He's now rich and gets blown by 20 women who look better than you. Sorry, now you are stuck with dumb asses like me. Wipe your feet before you come in please. You have been knee high in bullshit. Good news though. I can add to it. Please see below. Um, the paragraph, not my weener. Yet.

I don't do their compatibility test because my answers aren't on there.

My weener is alergic to vaginas. If it touches em for too long, it sneezes:(

Women have periods, men leave question marks..... and skid marks.

I would like to thank the SINGLE, self proclaimed profile review experts, especially the ones who've been married five times for their advice I saw them give other people. It was very entertaining. It was good to bounce off of too. Now, off to catch a ride from a blind taxi driver.

If I'm ugly to you, it's just bad lighting. I really look like a mixture of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Seriously..... if they were run over by the space shuttle, charred, scattered and splattered, then ate by goblins that sh*t them out on Rosie O Donells face. Or whatever that is she calls it.

"Why don't you smile in your photos!?" I am, I'm cracking a huge smile with my ass. To return the favor, here's a question for you... Why don't you kiss it? And let me slip you it's brown tongue.

For those seeking a sugar daddy, you'll just have to settle for me going sweet and low. No complaints so far...

I was looking for a site called Plentyofsquids, but couldn't find it. So I signed up here. So far nothing but beautiful fish here, no squids. Just my luck. If you believe that, please drown. Also drown if you really think I'm a bald midget big and tall Catholic as stated sometimes above.

My pic is only up for rating because all the ones make me feel like I'm number one etc.

Love is a four letter word, but you'll be happy to know I cuss a lot.

Old spew below.

Ignore the fact I am missing one rose. I sent it to myself to see wtf it was. What it said, what color, wtf and more wtf kinda things. No, I'm not in love with myself. For those curious, it's a pic of a red rose and says "Be Mine". So don't send it to your mother.

My midget that lives in my pants needs to grow up. Teach him....


They keep deleting the pics I want, so you are stuck with drunk pics of me instead. Some of which I have a Smurf's complexion in. Beats my usual zombie one I guess. My mother was raped by Brainy smurf. Unfortunately I am the black sheep of the family and therefore stewpit. Who ever "they" is, I no like:( They apparently want less people to click on my profile by making me use images of myself... BTW, the pics that get deleted aren't celebrity pics, so keep that in mind when reading the next bit.

*If you are one of those people that use fake celebrity pics as if it's you, yet ask for an honest man, please punch yourself in the temple really hard. Thank you. Want honesty? You first turd face.


About me..... Dunno, still trying to get to know myself.

Women at the top are not laughing at my small weiner. Just so you know.

I drink alone, but still talk to myself hence "social" drinker. I usually drink 1 or 2 times a week, so I didn't pick "doesn't drink" or "often/ >3 times a week". I prefer not to say, why I didn't pick prefer not to say.

Feel free to throw your panties at the screen.

By clinging to your sacred past is refusing a blessed moment and creating a still-borned future. Sacred is scared slightly mis-speltid.

Please no animal lovers who also hunt. If you kill what you love, I don't think I'd benefit much being your lover. I'm currently not suicidal, but if that changes, I'll let you know and then we can hook up.

If I add you to my favs, don't worry, I have reasons other than stalking you for it. None are too psycho.

If the truth you have on your doorstep welcomes a lie, I will ding dong ditch.

I wish the future was what it used to appear to be.

No one is innocent, only ignorant in their own involvement in guilt. Now bend over, it's time for your spanking.

Love is blind, so don't whine when you stub your toe. Or do, I don't really care, just pretend to.

I no longer know how to get a boner and need donations of bewbie pics. they don't have to be of you. Any bewbie will do. I don't discriminate. Much.

Biting your tongue makes you lose blood and be light headed.


Reading this profile will take years off your life. Do not read if you value health or are pregnant.

Just say no to drunk posting. Go out for a drive instead. It's safer.

I laugh and play in the sand you most likely bury your head in.

If this world hasn't drove you nutts, you are crazy.

Welcome to e-ville btw. Wipe your feet and beware of my dog. She humps legs. While I sniff crotch. Nevermind my dog being a she.

I am Mr. Wrong. But really cute and cuddly if you are drunk and stupid.

When I'm not busy being stupid, I am smart.

I don't believe in hitting a woman. They hit back.

I've never cheated on anyone. Because I haven't had the chance to.

I don't have stds, because I'm lucky.

I love women. Because I'm not gay.

I love to please women. Because it pleases my ego.

Instead of looking for someone with common interests, I am seeking someone with common hatreds. Please tell me about what you hate.

I'm only interested in telling you what I think you want to hear in order to not get in your pants. Difficult task, I know. Wish me unluck.

Life is a string of disappointments I floss my teeth with.
Oh, you must be one of dim half empty people. Nope. It's completely empty. I drank the booze that filled it half way up.

I only feel when I am numb

I only bend to make sure you break

I'm only empty filling your arms

I shaved Schrödinger's cat with Ockham's razor.

I hate one liners but I'm practicing having tolerance with myself.





Small wonder for those who fall
accepted boundaries and ignored the all

To take a pull from the superficial string
is to tie a noose and choke, not sing.

I very very very rarely make first contact here, so you'll have to throw something at my head in order to get my attention most likely.

Describe what would you do for a first date........

Probably spend it wondering how I was able to acquire the psychic powers that this inquiry requires me to have in order to answer it. Then have sex of course. Then nude cow tipping in the morning.