(Inspired by an amazingly similar Best of Craigslist item posted in Dec. 2006 by a San Francisco woman and entitled “197 Reasons To Date Me.”)

1) If this works out, it won’t look so desperate in hindsight.
2) I'm kinda shy, but only *after* you get to know me.
3) I can be very flattering.
4) That haircut looks so good on you.
5) *That’s* what I’m talkin’ about!
6) That’s what *I’m* talkin’ about!
7) That’s what I’m *talkin’* about!
8) What I lack in subtlety, I more than make up for with enthusiasm, exaggeration, and perseverance.
9) I’ve already learned from my mistakes.
10) I’m still trainable.

11) I always put the seat back down.
12) I no longer floss while driving.
13) Next to me, you’ll look really poised and graceful.
14) I clean up nice.
15) I’m listening.
16) You believe in second chances, don’t you?
17) I’m an excellent driver.
18) I can be very persuasive.
19) I have the remedy for your loneliness, and you’re not going to need a doctor’s prescription.
20) Oh, another Saturday night, and I ain’t got nobody.

21) It’s bad luck to break the chain.
22) Your head fits so perfectly on my shoulder.
23) I’ve already reluctantly come to terms with the fact that there’s a little bit of whack-job in all of us.
24) Pretty please with sugar on top?
25) Sure, you can sleep over. I have an extra toothbrush, still in the box.
26) This is what we’re here for.
27) Resistance is futile.
28) We already put a man on the moon; now it’s your turn.
29) I’m not really comfortable, doing all this bragging, but I cover it well.
30) Because you’re worth it.

31) If I can’t fix it, we can always hire somebody.
32) You may be the only one left who still gets me.
33) I understand my place in the universe -- men grovel; women field offers.
34) What you don’t know about me, you can fill in to your liking.
35) I have no interest whatsoever in NASCAR.
36) I’m above average.
37) I just love your quirkiness.
38) Slow-roasted is good coffee.
39) I’m completely honest -- so long as you regularly double-check your deep, unconscious preference for stubbornly believing only what you want to believe.
40) I’m easily mesmerized.

41) Ohhhh, baby!
42) I can be very affectionate.
43) This is the only way we’re ever going to get noticed by Hollywood.
44) If anything goes wrong, I’ll share the blame with you.
45) My baby done left me.
46) Her loss is your gain.
47) I’m so over her now.
48) I’m feelin’ no pain.
49) You know, it’s not actually commitment that I’m afraid of.
50) I am such an appreciative audience.

51) You are overdue (for better things, I mean).
52) I have no shame.
53) I promise I won’t overdo it.
54) My name is Gumby, dammit!
55) I’m immature for my age.
56) You don’t really like washing windows alone, do you?
57) It doesn’t take much to get me going.
58) I love the Coen Brothers.
59) This dating thing would be a lot more fun if there was more of a challenge in it for you.
60) Hey -- somebody’s gotta do it.

61) If you pass me by, a small, forlorn part of you will always look back with a deep sense of nagging regret for what might have been.
62) Your secret is safe with me.
63) I feel your pain.
64) Hey, I’m afraid, too.
65) You’re probably tired of the bar scene -- did I guess it right?
66) It’ll be good exercise for you.
67) When I snap my fingers, you will wake up feeling refreshed, and invigorated, and hungry for something delicious and new.
68) Here, I made cookies.
69) The kids are all right; it’s your turn now.
70) You got the time. I got the beer.

71) You can’t turn away from this list, can you?
72) My bathroom is clean; it’s just my mind that’s dirty.
73) I know what you’re thinking. And, of course, you’re right. You are so right.
74) I can be very supportive.
75) See, now, to me, most of your flaws seem pretty cute and endearing.
76) I just love that wicked sarcasm of yours. (And I pray to God I never wind up on your sh*tlist.)
77) I can be very attentive.
78) Can I get you anything? Wine? Coffee? Popcorn?
79) Are you comfy there on the couch? Need a blanket? A pillow? A hug?
80) I know you’re a big girl now.

81) I don’t come on this strong to just anybody.
82) Mr. Right just called; he’s not gonna make it.
83) I’m nothing like the last jerk you dated.
84) It’s been awhile since you found yourself caught up in the midst of any hare-brained schemes.
85) Oh well -- in for a penny, in for a pound.
86) You know, I’m already meeting you way more than halfway.
87) Your dog smells, he never gives good hugs, and he doesn’t talk back in English.
88) I don’t need to be picked up after.
89) I understand your ambivalence.
90) I can read between the lines.

91) I’m starting to run out of room here.
92) You’re not always right, but you’re always beautiful.
93) Practice makes perfect.
94) I’ll warm up the bed for you.
95) You gotta believe.
96) Of course, I don’t mean to advise you in any way.
97) I’ll understand if your dog gets jealous.
98) Hey, you can’t play if you don’t win.
99) Come on, already!
100) Patience is a virtue (but it won’t get you laid).

101) This is a limited time offer.
102) Operators are standing by.
103) I know what time it is.
104) You have to admit -- this is so crazy it just might work.
105) All your other schemes of dating outreach have met with rejection, failure, and humiliation.
106) I don’t even know you, and yet I already feel such a deep connection.
107) It’s okay -- I can find something else to do while you go to the craft show.
108) People need some reason to believe. (I don't know about anyone but me.)
109) I’m very politically incorrect.
110) I’m my own dog.

111) I’m pretty sure you can handle me.
112) I’m so perfect for you, you’re not even going to want to try changing anything.
113) Serenity now!
114) We’re not getting any younger.
115) I can try to tone it down a little.
116) Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.
117) It’s too late to turn back now.
118) I’m a glutton for positive feedback.
119) You will never have to wonder what I’m thinking.
120) I’m certified organic.

121) They say the average Internet relationship lasts for only 2.3 emails, but you and me, baby -- we could bust the curve.
122) I’m really pretty reasonable about acknowledging my weaknesses.
123) I already know I have an Achilles heel between my legs.
124) And I already know you know. You know?
125) Look -- you got anyplace better to be?
126) I was born ready.

(I got more, but they're cutting me off right about here...)

Well, see, now -- let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Message me. We'll talk.

Female