What's with all the road kill between St. Thomas and London?

I swear to god, every day I make this drive and see new dead animals for my viewing pleasure...
Doesn't anyone slow down? How the FU@K do you not see a big GODDAM raccoon walk in front of your car? How the he11 are there enough skunks to have THAT many dead ones?

Anyways, it's nice to meet you too.

How are you all? London is a new place for me. I've been living here since Aug/09. It's nice. Well, mostly. Dundas St. is terrible...and most of the East end. But mostly, London is a great place.

Only thing is that I'm having a difficult time making friends. Now I know what you're thinking, and I'm thinking the same...

"How can someone that initiates conversation with road kill possibly have a hard time making friends??!!"

...I know. I'm stupified as well. I'm practically a Laureate scholar...on my world.

I like talking politics, religion (or my lack thereof), psychology, and road kill apparently...pretty much anything goes.

In short, I'm not just a pretty face. I'm a pretty face that has bad habits like farting in public and having inappropriate conversations around discreet people.

Yeah, your parents would like me a lot.

Also for the last several months I've been on this thing genuinely stating that I'm looking for friends. People I can hang out with do activities with. After reading several other other profiles from other guys on this site, I can only assume that by "activities" you thought I meant chaining you to a wall, whipping you with raw bacon strips, exposing myself and taping the whole ordeal.

I already have friends for that...we meet every Tuesday...at church...

What I actually mean is joining a softball team...or going golfing...or for coffee. You know, real normal sh!t that doesn't involve me trying to make myself your trick.

Seriously, to the guys that do this...what happened to just getting hammered at the bar and bringing somebody home? I am old or something?

So be my friend. I have no ability to make them in the real world as I just can't help myself from making inappropriate WORLD VISION jokes.

I'm great fun at dinner parties. Especially the ones with the boiled goose and my BOOMBOX.

Drive down Dundas street in a van with a sign saying FREE CRACK...see how long it takes until we have a parade.