| SensualGuy4U :
The Rascal in Rusted Armor |
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| City |
Timonium Maryland |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Indian |
| Sign |
Capricorn |
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Height | 5' 8" (173 cm)
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| Age |
50 |
| Gender |
Man |
| Body Type |
Athletic |
| Religion |
Non-Religious |
| Hair Color |
Black |
| Private Images |
Yes | | Chemistry |
N/A | Relationship Needs: N/A |
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| I am Seeking a |
Woman
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Who is Looking
for |
Talk/Email |
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| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
No |
| Marital Status |
Married |
| Profession |
Executive |
| Smarts |
Graduate degree |
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| Do you want children? |
Does not want children |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
Yes |
| Do you have a car? |
N/A |
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| | About Me |
| | (If you like what you read, send your ex's bank account information to the Nigerian Chief who keeps on spamming you.)
I am your quintessential Rascal in Rusted Armor. I will save you from the clutches of the boring Knight in Shining Armor. The boring knight in shining armor may have kissed you after saving you from the dragon. I do more - I will save you, kiss you, grope you, and bed you there and then. Now, now, I can see you rolling your pretty eyes. Dear Damsel in Distress (henceforth, referred to as DDD), I am not all that bad. Yes, I am a rascal, but not that rascally. I certainly will not bind you with the sinews and throw you in the moat for the alligators to feast on you. I have feelings. Those come in useful when I need to feel you. That certainly makes me an attractive proposition. Right, huh?
Caution: Stop here if all this got in the way of your virgin sensibilities. What you are about to read is a bit more risque.
OK, more about the Rascal part of me. Let's first do a personality match. Take the pencil out from your ear flap, take the crumpled grocery receipt and mark your responses on the back side of it. Mark 1 if you totally disagree and 5 if you totally agree with the following statements:
1. The Leaning Tower of Pisa reminds me of a phallus symbol.
2. The Roman Colosseum reminds me of the private female part.
3. Freud was about to major in Italian architecture before he changed his mind.
4. King Kong went on a rampage in NYC because Mrs. King Kong was having a good time in Pisa, Italy.
5. The classification of Chemistry into Organic and Inorganic is plain stupid. It should have been Right Chemistry and Wrong Chemistry.
6. Arithmetic as taught to our kids is wrong. 1+1 is more than 2 (two). 1+1=2+electricity+passion.
7. Since Organism and Orgasm start with the same prefix, it must mean that all organisms crave for Orgasms.
8. SensualGuy4U is one heckova kewl guy
9. There is no point in looking over English dictionaries since they don't have pristine words such as heckova and kewl.
10. Rascals are better than Knights when the time is right.
Add your responses together.
If your score is between:
10-20: you should get your act straight and start sending flirts to every second person in here. DDD, perhaps, you need to start with a Knight in Shining Armor. In time, I will rescue you from him. So worry not, you will be rescued.
21-35: you should send me an email. You are confused between wanting a Knight and a Rascal. But, never mind, I will imprint in your mind such feelings that you will perpetually hunger for a Rascal.
36-50: what exactly are you doing on your computer this minute? You should be dashing out of your door to hit the sack with me (However, see First Date conditions). Call 1-800-SAC-MEnU (it's no coincidence that it's all about eating too as in the MEnU).
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Question) Are you for real?
Answer) Huh? You think I am some ghostly apparition descending from hell to type all this in POF boxes? Huh? HUH???
Question) Why did you not post your picture?
Answer) My brains are between my thighs and POF has strict policies on attaching those photos. However, upon request, I will send you the picture of the organ that has my eyes, nose and kissable lips.
Question) How long have you been on POF?
Answer) Ladies, that's a darn delicate question to ask. It is not exactly that I sit down with a ruler when I am browsing profiles on POF. I am not gonna tell you how long I have been.
Question) Do you have a car (a gem of a POF question for US residents)?
Answer) Ladies, that's a wrong question to ask. The question should have been: Can you drive? It's an emphatic 'NO' for me. I have the dubious honor of crashing my Dad's car within the first thirty seconds of the first take-off.
Question) What are your hobbies?
Answer) You mean when I am not re-sharpening the blades of my chain-saw?
Question) Yes
Answer) Huh? What kind of question is that? Did you mean YES as in the hurray Yesss for "I finally found the rascal I was looking for"?
Now, DDD, you must read my take on the First Date. |
| | First Date |
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My Lawyer advised me to use Legal lingo here - Lunch and a Hug. Even if you beg for it, I won't do "it"! If you are wondering what exactly constitutes "it", email me and I'll spell it out in really vague terms. Exclusions and Limitations Apply (see the fine print below).
Exclusions and Limitations
1) Saliva Exchange Program. I do participate in the saliva exchange program. However, please note that my apparatus and method for exchanging saliva is of exemplary quality. I expect the same from your apparatus and methods. Should you fail in this respect, you may have to participate in other tests as detailed below.
2) Clasp on the Back. It is your responsibility to ensure that there is no clasp on your back. Clasp on the Backs have been known to open almost automatically in my presence. If you need to fasten anything at all on your back, please do it at your own peril.
3) Inspection of Apparatus for Support. I, at any time, upon your approval, reserve the right to inspect apparatus used to support or accentuate any frontal parts. Should the inspection prove that the frontal parts are all natural, I may also unfasten the apparatus and explore the degree to which the apparatus was successful in supporting or accentuating the frontal objects. The exploration may temporarily lead to a heightened sense of pleasure and may be addictive. However, I do not treat addictions.
4) Sanitation Apparatus. I am in no position to remove any sanitation apparatus in the confines of four wheeled mobility objects. Therefore, please do not ask for such. However, should we be in a more spacious confine, your sanitation apparatus may be removed, upon your approval.
5) Piston Gasket Check. I have been known to result in conditions that provide enough lubrication to ensure that the piston moves freely in the gasket. If lubrication is an issue, please let me know beforehand so that I can acquire an adequate lubricant. Note that the piston does a great job, however, it can only do so with adequate lubrication.
6) Brain Wave Merge. None of the first 5 exclusions are as important as this one. Your brain waves must have merged with mine for us to even get to this place.
P.S. Am I not blessed to have my legal mind as well as my illegal mind (previous section) in the gutters?
CONGRATULATIONS - If you've managed to get so far, you may be my type. Best things come to those who are willing to spend the time reading and being entertained.
I am specifically looking for email conversations. You must have the brains. Otherwise, we will not fly to distant lands. Do you listen to NPR regularly? Do you read the Op-eds of NYTimes.com? You must be a nice person on the inside. Race, body type, etc. does not matter. Any topic is fair for emailing. Let's forge a friendship to be cherished. I am STRICTLY a ONE person Guy! Focusing on one soul is the way I like it. It has its own dangers, but, I've got to know two great ladies t |
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SensualGuy4U has 2 roses that can be sent. |
 Mail Settings (To message SensualGuy4U you MUST meet the following criteria.) |
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Female
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Must not do drugs
Must not smoke
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