My favorite quote: Women and cats will do as they please, men and dogs should relax and get use to the idea.

Do I own a car? Do I LOOK AMISH?!!!!

I feel like Im I'm standing on a stage jumping up & down yelling pick me, pick me !!

I am of English/redneck decent. My dad's parents came here from England and my mom's family is just flat out redneck which basically means that this classy, sassy, little English tart can spit with the best of them!

I have 2 children, a daughter, who if doesn't take over her own student loan, like NOW, will find her picture posted on a adoption site. Actually that has now been rectified and Im now being profiled on America's Most Wanted.

My son lives in Boulder CO & is a prodigy on the guitar. He plays in a band & is trying to get a private recording label. He relocated from Omaha NE to Boulder to go to school, and ended up in Phoenix for school. KIDS!! Havent a clue what he's up to and Im SURE it's one of those DONT ask you DONT want to know things. Both kids are a clone of me, or my son use to be until he grew his hair out longer. I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, he'll outgrow it, but if he doesn't I can always claim it's a paternal genetic defect. No one would ever question me!

In my spare time I make prize winning quilts, my therapy for relaxing. I'm very easy going as far as entertainment, going out, staying in, it doesn't matter to me. Hey, I play with fabric how hard can it be to entertain me?!!!!!

I use to live with a dark chocolate cat named Bailey the biter, but she sent my allergies off the chart so now she lives with my x-mother-n-law, LOOOOOONG story there and I hope she's bitting the H---!!! our of her. God, I JUST LOVE pay back!!!

I drive a Jeep wrangler disguised as a Chevy cavalier thanks to my daughter's student loan. I'm basically a safe driver, I've only backed into the neighbor's house once & she wasn't home at the time so that doesn't count. I'm totally navigationally handicapped. I have a rope tied from my bed to the bathroom so I can find my way back at night. I use to use M&M's but the cat would bat them around on the floor and I'd end up in an entirely different room.

I'm not much for riding on motorcycles. The wind blows my contacts to the outer corners of my eyes & I can't see anything coming at me, however my peripheral vision is terrific!

I can't swim, and I don't sing, but I love music. I'm a closet singer. I don't drink coffee it tastes like burnt water. I also don't do Chinese or Mexican food or pepporini on my pizza, it tastes green. I do however guzzle pepsi & woof chocolate!

I have big blue eyes that are totally useless because I can't see past my eyelashes without my contacts. I'm basically small boned, small frame, with no visible scars, tatoos or body piercings except for my pierced ears. I have small hands, short fingers, thin lips, small thin feet & birdy ankles. I have all my own teeth unless you want to get nit picky & count the 4 crowns in the front, but technically they don't count because they're cemented in. Everything on me is still where it belongs & not heading south. My butt is my best feature, but for some reason no one's eyes seem to focus there. THAT is definitely a guy thing! Hey it's all good!!! I can be a closet blonde coming out at times, but that's way better than having an old moment.

My left heel is almost all metal. There are 2 stories here. One is the truth & the other is the story the family got . When you grow up in a staunch southern baptist family you learn to cover your butt real good!!!

I'm the third out of four girls, all of us two yrs apart, the younger being born on my birthday of Oct 30th. I was the treat she was the trick. Lets see them do that again!!

Before I learned how to quilt I could cook (sort of)& I DEFINITELY kiss better than I cook. I have one goal to accomplish before I die & that's to make brown gravy that doesn't double as foundation patch. MILLIONS of people do it how hard can it be?

Im willing to relocate for the right guy HOWEVER, for all of you defective Y chromosones ON HERE who are just looking for a PIECE OF A-- YOU NEED TO JUST KEEP ON BECAUSE IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! and for those of you who are wanting phone sex, incase you hadn't noticed my number is NOT 1-900-U-BABES, you're big boys, get a "grip!!!! AND you must NOT be micro-chipped! If I dump you I DONT want you coming back!

What ever feels comfortable for both of us. We'll figure it out.

I love weekend getaways with the right ONE guy, quiet romantic dinners, long arm in arm leisurely walks, imtimate little secrets shared just between the two of us and long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses (thank you Kevin Costner) that sends shivers through out my body.

I'm looking for my LAST dating partner, someone who compliments my life, makes it better and better every day, takes my breath away with every look and sends electricity through out my entire body with every touch, someone I can't wait to see and don't want to leave and last and MOST important, a guy who is willing to take the spider out of the bathtub for me.