| Resolution Breaker The Swordfish:
Free Fruit Cake to first 5 responses!* |
| |
| City |
Just down the street Michigan |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Cancer |
|
Height | 5' 11" (180 cm)
|
|
|
|
| |
| I am Seeking a |
Woman
|
Who is Looking
for |
Friends |
|
| |
| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
Socially |
| Marital Status |
Separated |
| Profession |
Intellectual Bohemian |
| Smarts |
Bachelors degree |
|
|
| Do you want children? |
Undecided/Open |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
No |
| Do you have a car? |
Yes |
|
| |
Interests
| Plenty of Flesh | At-home shoe repair | Do-it-yourself surgery | | Adult movie soundtracks -- bom-chicka-bom-bom | Barbwire collecting | Musing and pondering | | Spotted puppies in red wagons | Lacey unmentionables | Salves creams and ointments | | Poor impulse control | Videogames in my boxers | Barstool philosopher | | Not getting befuddled by a middle-class morality | Flotsam and jetsam | Unrequited love | | | |
|
| | About Me |
| | Just the facts ma'm: I'm not too ugly... Actually, 'tis an over-used cliche' to be sure but I'm told I look young for my age (Guys - you have to moisturize!) I'm college-educated (working on a 2nd degree in fact) and I can speak proper English when the situation demands. I pay my bills on time, have reliable transportation, own a clean well-kept home, no kids (although I like kids and am fully capable of having them), emotionally stable, happy and healthy, drama-free life. I can do my own laundry (not so great with the iron though), dust and run a vacuum, and cook my own meals.
I have all my teeth, most of my hair, and my body parts are of normal proportions and in fine working order. I have a nice subtle smell about me (baby powder and cookie dough perhaps?) I possess a few healthy fantasies but no abnormal fetishes; although I do prefer Frederick's of Hollywood over Victoria's Secret, (Maidenform? Not so much.) What I know about sports couldn't fill a thimble, nonetheless I go to live events often for the experience. Enjoy seeing obscure bands at small venues. Spare time includes camping, canoeing, mountain biking, white-water rafting, people-watching, re-reading the classics, running with the bulls, going to the casino, cheap cold beer, dive bars, a glass of bourbon and a good (weekly) cigar...
Do you: Like meeting new people but shy away from large crowds? Love to travel and have adventures, yet grateful to get back to your own home, bed and shower? Have you ever looked up in the sky at an airplane and wondered about the lives of the people on it? Or saw a person less fortunate than you and thought, "There but for the grace of God go I?" Me too. Also, I help old ladies across the street and donate anonymously to charities. I like confident women who are comfortable with their own sensuality. A sarcastic sense of humor and the ability to laugh at your own shortcomings is a plus. Age is irrelevant but please be old enough to drink and young enough to fast dance and stay awake past midnight. You should be able to compose both an intelligent thought and a grammatically correct sentence. (Hint: If I can't spell a word I use Spellcheck; if I don't know a word I look it up in the dictionary. Every computer has both...)
And now a little tough love: If you are jealous, insecure, have a psycho ex (or non-ex) or a hair-trigger temper, a chain-smoker, animal abuser, loud drunk or into cosmetic pharmacology - please move along; you are a bad pony and I'll not bet on you. If you think men are your playthings - wind 'em up and watch 'em go - I'll see through that in a heartbeat and take your pride for a ride. Lastly, if you are flashing any sort of silly gang-type hand gestures in your profile photo allow me to enlighten you - that is the female equivalent of a man having a mullet and living in his parent's basement...
And finally, I strive to abide by "campsite rules" in all of my relationships - should we not become "BFF" I will still leave you in better shape than when I found you; i.e. you will be treated with respect, and in some small way be a better person for having met me.
[Note: It has been brought to my attention that some of the less-than-creative men (and women) on this site have been plagiarizing words, phrases and even whole sentences from my profile. If you have read this far I can assure you my profile is original material and, yes, I am this witty in person.] |
| | First Date |
| |
I don't really care, just please don't slip me a "roofie" and rob me like that chick from Adult Friend Finder.
Also, if you talk on your cell phone more than you talk to me... 'Nuff said.
***Free fruit cake offer for a limited time only while supplies last. No warranties expressed or implied. Delivery not included. Not responsible for accident or injury resulting from misuse.***
|
| |
Resolution Breaker has 2 roses that can be sent. |
 Mail Settings (To message Resolution Breaker you MUST meet the following criteria.) |
Add to favorites
|
