Version 5.1.2

Having been on PoF for the last 12 years and not too much luck with my last profile attempt as it said absolutely NOTHING about me, I thought I would do a complete front end alignment and steam clean of this thing. The last profile was a really cool rant though.

I would just ask that you please be patient as this will be a work in process! They say the Taj Mahal took almost 22 years and 10’s of thousands to build. This will be no different, although I may be dead before it’s completed.

Stats: Y’all already know the crap about me from the junk at the top of the profile. Age, height, hair (or lack of it) and blah, blah, blah. This assumes the reader can actually READ. Here are a few more tidbits that I am sure you are just dying to know about me…

Old and cranky is what I excel at in life. Bitterness and sarcasm are two of my talents in my life these days and they are just like a fine wine that is maturing with age. I used to think that the best two things were my daughters, but I have just about gotten sick of their high maintenance BS that comes with women. Yes, they are grown women now at 22 and almost 21 years of age.

Why the F-word I allow them to continue to live with me F0 FREE is beyond my ability to reason. I always thought I was a pretty smart guy, but this one thing blows that concept out of the water. So maybe old, bitter and stoo-pit would be a better description of who I really am.

Women? I just don’t get them. You would think that at 51, having been married and divorced twice - I would have started to get them, but no. And for any of you that have been paying the slightest bit of attention… Under the Marital Status I have SINGLE listed. Married twice, divorced twice and completely single and unattached. And yeah, while there is probably a great reason for me still being single - I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe one of you smart women out there could clue me in...

Hoppies (sic) include the following… hockey (I do NOT participate nor waste my time watching any field fairy sports), beer drinking and loose women. Not necessarily in that order. That’s really about all I am interested in these days. For your women that are searching for some poor sap to run to the grocery store for you… or the F-ing mall. All I got on that one is GOOD LUCK to you.

Family was something that I used to enjoy as a younger man, but these days they are more of a pain in my azz than anything. Ya know, parents as they get older are almost as much maintenance as 21 and 22 year old girls. My sister is a pain in the azz along with her 7 brats she has. At least I was smart enough to stop at 2… My sister is obviously not NEARLY as smart as me.

Music is extremely important to me. Some of my favorite artists are: NIN, Disturbed, Staind, Seether, Nirvana, Dr. Dre and my boy Snoop, R.I.P. Biggie Smalls and TuPac. My iPod is filled with almost 10,000 songs all over the map with GOOD music.

Country music should be illegal outside the boarders of Tennessee and Texas. It would keep the rednecks confined and make our country a much better place.

The woman of my dreams… and the one I have longed to find my entire life would possess the traits that lean towards the “Leave It to Beaver” type of woman… June Cleaver was a frickin’ great wife – I mean she wasn’t all that hot, but damn did she slave for Ward and the two offspring she popped out. She never talked back, never got angry or argued. She knew that dinner should be on the table at 5:00pm SHARP or there would be hell to pay. Now back in the 60’s they never drank on TV shows like that one… but you know damn good and well that Ward had that frosty ice cold beer in his hand the second the door opened after slaving all day for his wench and brats.

Ah the good old days. I miss them so much!!

Ladies, this is most likely going to be my very last attempt on PoF to find that special one that everyone says is out there but I have yet to find. I will be waiting for you to email me first… don’t even THINK that this boy will be sending out F-ing emails to you guys. That read/delete thing STILL pisses me off.

Cheers!

I really enjoy a nice home cooked meal. Mexican food is probably one of my favorites. You tell me what time to be there for dinner ok? I promise I will show up on time – and don’t forget about the cold-beer-at-the-door thing. We can eat a quick bite and while you do the dishes, I'll be realxing in front of the TV. When you are all finished up I will proceed to spit hot, hot fire at you. I promise your evening will be most entertaining.

Oh one more thing that may interest you damn women out here… Ya see where it says "~majic~ has 2 roses that can be sent" just below here? Enjoy looking at them as that is the closest you will ever come to getting a F-ing flower from me.