Little white lies

I am a dynamic figure. I can cook 30 minute brownies in 20. I have had my uterus ripped out in a bull-fight in San Juan and bought it back for $12,530.59.

I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I once thought about writing an award winning soap opera, but ditched the effort hopelessly in pursuit of the creative art of cross-stitching. I manage time tardily.

I occasionally tread water, but only for 3 days at a time.

I woo girls with my sensuous god-like collection of beanie babies. Men are intrigued by my braids because they are impossible to crochet by humans. I can pilot big wheels up severe inclines at uncanny speeds. I am an expert in cheese grating, a veteran dildo user and an outlaw in Cancun. Armed with only a garden hoe and a small glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the amazon from a horde of ferocious army ants.

I want to learn how to play bluegrass, I am just waiting for it to grow in my yard. I am the subject of numerous police documentaries in the weirdos section. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my backyard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding off the back of my neighbors ford pinto. If I could be an animal, I'd be a bird so my poop would be white.

I am a calculator abuser, a peanut butter analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy and sweater evening wear. I perspire profusely but my hands stay cold. I am a private citizen and have never ever received fan mail. Last summer I toured Idaho with a team of covert underground lobbyist looking for the perfect potato.

My devastating floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Ducks trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving hairball's with deadly accuracy.

I know the exact location of every food item in the grocery store. I sleep once a week and when I do, it's standing up. While on vacation in Canada I negotiated with a group of terrorist who had seized a small bakery.

The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Yrs ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary full course meals using only a straw and a fork. I breed prize winning sea monkeys. I took a dump in Elvis's house.

end....

I am an unleashed personality! I hold nothing back and am willing to put it all on the line, act quickly and expect success. If I fail, I expect success the next time - or certainly, eventually. I also like change, because a changing environment means new opportunity or another chance to meet someone new. Too much predictability in life scares me. I don't want people in my life that will hold me back, so I'm usually drawn to people who are as forward and a charging person like myself. At the very least, not timid!

My name is Mari Jo. I'm a pretty cool, laid back, down-to-earth and open-minded kinda chick. Very open-minded. I'm still sort of discovering things about myself. I love music, fashion and movies! I enjoy meeting new people who I could learn something from. I don't tolerate foolishness. People generally love me and remember me for my smile and carefree attitude. It'd be nice to meet a few people here who are cool, with a little positive energy, good conversation and good company.

I love being in long relationships. I'm a great talker. Always love to bust. I'm nice, sassy, intelligent & SEXY. I can pretty much predict the future, especially when it comes to BoYz. I can be irresistible! I'm an AWESOME KISSER. I usually get what I want. BY FAR the BEST in BED!! I love to own men in sports, but I'm also extremely fun. I love to joke! I love to be your first ;-) So you'll never forget...

I tend to be very persuasive. I desired to have a partner that will share the joys and sorrows of everyday life with me, and I finally found that! I basically live three separate lives... my work life, my social life and my intimate personal life. I truly do not have any interest integrating these areas.

Well... technically it wouldn't be a date. I'm definitely in the market for some new buddies, and the first time we'd meet I'd love to hang out some place where we can chill and chat. Maybe meet up at a bar and hear a local band play, or grab some lunch at a diner, or check out the local festivities at the oceanfront in Virginia beach or Waterside in Norfolk!