Some dude, at some point in time, said something along the lines of "better to stay quiet and have them think you an idiot, than open your mouth and remove all doubt." I suppose that's not really an option here, so...yeah...

I picked lobster, cause I have no idea what type of fish I am, but anything is better than "no personality", amirite? Come to think of it, aren't lobsters crustaceans?

Hmmm, can't seem to put apostrophes in the image caption. I hope people don't think I'm a grammar noob.

I'm no good at talking about myself. I follow the Bill Hicks view of marketing, and it would be hypocritical to try and sell myself like some sort of product. "Now with extra man-meat!"

What I am not looking for:

Women that are overly clingy/needy. I will need time to myself now and then to, you know, do guy stuff. This doesn't mean I don't like to cuddle.

Women that are looking for "ambitious" men. Sounds like gold-digging to me. I'm not looking for a trophy, but rather a complex, interesting, fully-featured individual with whom to share life's experiences. This doesn't mean I'm poor.

Women that aren't physically active. I'm no marathon runner myself, but I bike, play soccer, etc., and I'd like to know that should I ask "wanna go for a bike ride?" the answer won't always be no.

Something simple to start, somewhere you can talk. Best to save the sky diving and rock climbing for the second or third date. You know, after you're pretty sure you don't want the other person dead. This needn't mean it must be boring old coffee, there's always mini-golf, bowling, etc. Though you could start with boring old coffee, then decide where to go from there, you know, all spontaneous-like.

Live within 75 miles.
Must not be married
Must not smoke