NOTE: I have been away and out of touch for a while, just returning to PoF- mostly the Recipes & Cooking forum.

I'm in perfect shape- if you consider round as a perfect shape. Height/weight proportional if I was 15 feet tall.

Fan of the politically incorrect with a shameless love of fowl puns. Unapologetic meat-eater and a better-than-decent cook. Too old and cynical to believe in Romance, Soulmates or Happy Endings. I've been told I have a twisted sense of humor. Retired from the working world, finally approved for disability. No real passions anymore, just preferences. I try to do what I enjoy, and take my time doing it, and attempt to avoid the terminally stupid. I'm not particularly religious, tend towards the right of center about most things and far left of center about others. Not a fan of either political party, but know that none of the others have any definitive answers either.

Not a big fan of spectator sports other than local politics. Not a participant in competition sports other than as a challenge to myself- Trap & Skeet, Target shooting, that type of thing.

Well, that bit was depressingly negative wasn't it? Lots of what I'm NOT and DON'T like, and just a hint at the positive side... Here's a few more I AM... A campfire story-teller, spiritual, mostly intelligent, kind to small aminalls (misspelling intentional), well read, quiet, lover of words and wordplay, puns, and music.


Being in the "SEPARATED" category puts me at a distinct disadvantage here... I am specifically NOT looking for a romance, love, or anything physical- Really. The Ex decided a few years ago she would rather be separated and boinking her boss than married, but does not believe in divorce; so here we are at an impasse with no easy resolution.

Being separated does not mean dead (although the Reaper has come close a few times), so I am looking for a bit of company, some companionship and conversation, someone to hang out and have coffee with, maybe do a little fishing, see a movie, hit a jazz club for some Tonic & Lime, take a ride on the motorcycle for a picnic or just to nowhere in particular.


Who am I looking for? She should have a sense of (warning cliche ahead) humor and tolerate bad puns, shaggy-dog stories, tasteless jokes, and understand that dog + fart = funny but cat + fart = hysterical. Smart is good too- be able to play Scrabble without a dictionary, find the spelling and grammar errors but not have to point them out too often. Understand that it's "Praise in public, correct in private" not the other way round. It would be most wonderful if she were still breathing, and even better if it was on her own. Please have most of the original equipment, doesn't matter if it's in mint condition or the same location, but I prefer unenhanced. Not overly important, but within about +/- 5 to 8 years of my age.

If it wasn't for Carbon-14 I wouldn't date at all....

[Summer comment] Soooooo, summer in the Northern part of the globe... but with the current wave of heat and humidity... who really wants to boil on a hot beach getting sand in places it shouldn't be and roasting like an overdone slab of beef. Besides, have you SEEN the local beaches? Dead alewives (herrings without the charm), used syringes, and broken glass. Forget the [expletive deleted] beach already... Can't we just have a walk in the forest preserve, stop for some Ice Cream or a cold Lemonade?

[Winter comment] What's with all the walks on a beach? It's still bleeding WINTER and cold enough that the Brass Monkey is wearing insulated skivvies. What's wrong with INDOORS someplace where it's warm? Coffee? Bowl of soup?

This would ideally take place after a number of emails, IMs, and a few phone calls.
Not so much a first date as a time to get to know someone else in person. Meet at a bookstore for coffee? tea? a couple of scones? chat? learn a little about each other? maybe share a few laughs?
...