Chemistry, alchemy and magic surround me as, concorde-like, I pass through life with a vapour trail and sonic boom. Just close your eyes and hold your breath, because at speeds like this you’ll only ever know life between gasps and sighs.

Sharper than razors and cocaine addictive, I crackle with electricity like a lightning struck pylon. With me you'll be drunk without drinking, moved without moving, dizzy without spinning and extremely breathless without stairs.

Lions bow to me, cheetahs won’t race me and pigeons refuse to cr*p on me. I’m a devil in disguise and a genie that broke the bottle and stamped on the pieces. I'm a knight with highly polished armour, a pretty big lance and all his own hair thankyouverymuch..........;)

Don’t be shy. Say hello - we'll just take it from there.

My match would be........


You smile, laugh and stick out your tongue.

By day you climb trees, chuck snowballs and get mud on your nose; by night you glide effortlessly in the most inappropriate of heels.

By day you play-fight like Bruce Lee, know Cartesian dualism backwards and bake Alaska like Nigella; by night you generate sparks like a Catherine wheel.

You have the grace of a gazelle, curiosity of a cat and heart of a lioness; all regularly eclipsed by the unadulterated cheek of a monkey.

You climb mountains, free-fall parachute and mud-wrestle alligators; but sometimes the courage needed to get big spiders out of small bathtubs completely deserts you.