Hello and welcome.
If by any chance you are a woman, you must have stumbled upon this profile by mistake. I find it hard to believe that anyone would be attracted to that picture I have up, not to mention the other 7 that plague my profile. Even so, I will still let you stay and enjoy this pleasant description (if you can call it that).
Now, if you are a man, you've come to the right place. Have you ever had a very beautiful, funny, nice woman come after you and keep bothering you? Would you like to get rid of her? With just a few simple tips I can make that a problem no more! Using some very simple techniques perfected by yours truly in the past several years, the woman of your life won't trouble you any longer.

My package includes valuable lessons such as:
-This dinner was tasty... oops, I left my wallet in my parent's basement.
-Can we take your car? Gas prices are really killing me.
-You shouldn't get ice cream, we don't want you to put on more pounds.
And many other useful interactions that will make sure that woman hates you.

Now, this program won't cost you $500 or $475. Not even $450 or $400. Not $300 or $200 or even $100. Not $99.99 or $99.97. Just 4 (four) easy payments of $24.99 (include $37.50 for shipping and handling).

Remember, if you are one of the first 2 people to call within 13 seconds of reading this profile, you will get a free pencil... for FREE!

Thank you, and goodbye...

I don't know, plans suck... Concert, movie, dinner, a nice ride, amusement park, paintball, bungee jumping, go-karts... oh the possibilities! Of course, there is always the option of going to a bar and drinkin :P