Well...

I'm a single guy living in Beaumont right now. I don't really know anyone here so I go to used car lots and pretend that I'm interested so that people will call me. I'm addicted to fudgesicles and Timmys. I spent 7 years in University before I finally graduated (no, I'm not a doctor...just a really slow learner.)

I can speak 2 languages, 3 if you include ingrish. I have an ongoing bet with my buddy on who can use the most "exotic" restroom facilities, so far he has Fenway Park in Boston and I have the Dave Letterman show...tough call. I once drove to Halifax because I was bored. I have friends that will bail me out of jail. I have buddies that will be sitting in the cell with me saying "man, was that awesome!"

I went to a taping of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" in New York, yes I got to vote...the contestant won $1000. I donate blood just so I can have someone ask me if I've been "gettin any." I went to band camp. I know that I suck at karaoke. I can name the 50 states but can't remember which side of my truck the gas goes in. I know the Caramilk secret. I don't have any pictures of me without my shirt on (do you really want to see my "one pack?")

I worked at SuperStore for one day. I was in the Air Force for 8 years. I haven't outgrown Lego. I hate wearing socks. I had a stamp collection. I go fishing for a week every summer with my buddy and then Brokeback Mountain came out and now people are wondering...

I'm just a nice guy looking for a nice girl. I am self employed and have tons of time off so it would be nice to find someone to spend it with! Sometimes I disappear for days/weeks but odds are I'm in Vegas. Don't worry, when I return I'll have a dozen roses in one hand and a dozen beers in the other (roses may be substituted for additional beer.)

Sit in on Youth Court. Absolutely. Its funnier than Family Guy. Then we can go to a mall and laugh at all the dudes who wear sunglasses indoors.

And where is this beach that everyone want to go for a walk along?