| UglyOldFatBaldUseless The Bottom Dweller:
Fat azz skanky trailer trash a PLUS |
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| City |
Canandaigua New York |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Aquarius |
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Height | 5' 11" (180 cm)
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| Age |
52 |
| Gender |
Man |
| Body Type |
Athletic |
| Religion |
Jewish |
| Hair Color |
Gray |
| Private Images |
Yes | | Chemistry |
N/A | Needs Assessment: N/A |
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| I am Seeking a |
Woman
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Who is Looking
for |
Long Term |
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| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
Socially |
| Marital Status |
Single |
| Profession |
YO!!! Wheres my welfare check!!!!!! |
| Smarts |
N/A |
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| Do you want children? |
Does not want children |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
No |
| Do you have a car? |
N/A |
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| | About Me |
| | I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and it pretty much continues for the day. Positive person, up-beat and I have a quick, witty style of humor. Can squeak 5'11" in a pair of tight underwear and 205lbs. of rippling 51 year old muscle. Well, they rippled 20 years ago.... Gray hair buzzed short or sometimes shaved. Own my home of 21 years and am self employed. My business leaves me with lot's of free time so I am looking to start another business up during my off seasons. I spend most my money on good times, bad women then waste the rest on things like food, clothes, gas, etc.. Love to cook and have become something of a wine lover. Dont be surprised if I ask you over so I can cook on our first date. Will even supply the wine, I have a wine connection. Free wine is almost as good as free porn....almost. Any questions you might have, feel free to ask. I am a straight shooter and you will get an honest answer back. Well actually, I may bust on you for a while but at some point, I will give you a honest answer, well, at least as far as you know.
Ok, I have been asked by a few of you to tell a few more things about myself so, here goes.
As a young child using a do it yourself Radio Shack amateur radio kit, 2 rolls of tin foil shaped up as a antenna and 22 AAA batteries to boost the signal, I made brief contact with Neil Armstrong in the Apollo space craft. We only spoke for a few minutes and I told him how proud I was that when he would be standing on the bottom step it would "only be a short step down for him but would be a great jump forward for man". Well, to this day he denies our conversation but I know it happened....
In college, I took the summer to go to Peru to help some natives. While there I stopped an entire village from being destroyed by poisonus ants by using a broom, 2 tractor tires and 20 gals. of diesel fuel. I swear to this day, I never knew the tires were the only 2 tires for the entire village and didnt think the fire would burn all the huts down..... The villagers never forgave me nor allowed me back. To this day, I am not allowed in Peru. F--k em...it's their loss...
A while ago I mentioned to our governor here in NY....gee, I wish I had a nickel for every beer can I threw away. **stard went and started the 5cent can and bottle deposit and what did I end up with???? Diddley squat. What a a/hole
I mentioned to a scientist friend of mine how it would be cool if there was a pill that would make greasy food go right through you so your cholesterol wouldnt go up.... Yup, 3 years later came Lipitor. Now he's a multi millionare and all I got was a weeks sample of em.... But I got the fooker back when I told a chemist friend of mine that if I could keep a woodie longer and harder, my G/friend would love it.... I guess I sure showed that first guy!!!
Like to take some time to put a shout out to a fellow POF member....
Thanks to her--->tinydancer--- I have designated the third thursday of each month "tequilla and porn night" Thanks for a wild night babe. I wouldnt have remembered most of it but the 2 camera video is AWESUM!!!! I never knew you could warm up baby oil in a micro-wave....
I'll add more with time. Don't want to make it look like I am bragging. Just wanted to let you know, I am not your average bear.
America is not at war with Iraq.
Our troops are at war with Iraq.
America is at the mall.......
The folowing is a few posts from the forums here and off profiles. enjoy them, I did. LOL
F..no they cant say nothing nice from new york...when your a suburb of canada inbred as royalty...your pissed off all the time and never leaned things like respect or tipping or courtesy or manners ...may as well bich about things to make yourself fell better about that size 9 shoe and the retard in the mirror,,,I already been scrappin tonight,,.,.Dont care much for some yankee faggot,,
I have a big collection of "d*ck pics" that I have been sent, totally unsolicited. I am not sure why men send them to me. As if I am going to see a picture of their turgid organ and drive right over. When I get one, I immediately send it to all my gay boyfriends, because hey, they appreciate them. Then I post it with a personals ad, to Craig's List using their e-mail, with a gay personals intimate encounter ad, ususally including some outlandish and depraved fetish request. If a guy sends me his phone number, I will post that too. I have no shame about this and I consider it a form of behaviour modification. Some day I will pass out the web page where I have them all posted, complete with their names.
If they manage to behave long enough to get past the letter stage and get a first date, they can get worse. One guy I went out with actually pulled out his erect member and asked me "don't you just really want to suck it?" I told him that I would not suck it, if I was stuck in deep space and his balls were the single source of available oxygen. I then informed him, that should it get to my mouth, I could not guarantee he would not draw back a bloodied stump. As I cheerfully drove off, I heard him exclaim "Goddammit, not again."
And for the naughty side of me.. I LOVE TO BE NAUGHTY.. I am playful, and flirty.. With the right man, I like going out at night with a bunch of people around and whispering suggestive nothings in his ear to peak his interest, I like little affectionate rubs on the butt, and hugs, and kisses... I like the teddy bear type.. I like rubbing his leg under the table and giving that little, "Just you wait till later" wink that only he knows and understands. I like candle light, moonlit walks on the beach, bubble baths, slow dances, and long, leg collapsing kisses.. I like spoiling my man, and I enjoy being spoiled.. I like cooking for him, and packing his lunch.. making sure he remembers that he has something sexy waiting for him when he gets home to think about, so he smiles at work all day.. I like smiling all day anticipating his arrival after a long hard day.. Tucking the kids in to bed and disappearing to the bedroom for some "adult fun" I have a high drive and enjoy those times.. ALOT..
Another jewel I found...
Hopefully when your girls aren't around....
It's been 5 mo. since I last got laid.
Right about now, I'd even bang the sh*t out of a fat broad. I may have reached a new low.....sigh...........
Will call ya.
Oh hell, if backing a trailer down a simple ramp turns you neanderthals on, or a **** that can heave a loaded ice chest onto a boat, Im a dream date.
Grant it I have chronic halitosis, a club foot, a severe overbite, turrets syndrome and I look like Lou Ferrigno's twin sister....but who doesnt?
Apply within
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| | First Date |
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Bike ride along the Erie Canal. Dinner at a great Italian resturant. Something on or near the water. Fri. night happy hour at the Northfield for drinks. A tour of the Artisan gallery (on Winton Rd.?)is always fun. Or?????? maybe the midget strippers will be in town. If all that goes well, we come back to my trailer, drink a case of Old Milwaukee and play twister -- naked. By the next morning, you'll be so overwhelmed by my charm and class you'll whisk me away to Vegas for a wedding at the Elvis Chapel of Love. |
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UglyOldFatBaldUseless Appears on 19 members favorites lists and has 1 roses that can be sent.
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