NOTE: Just got out of another relationship.

2nd NOTE: If you know what movie my Headline is a reference to, you're awesome.

I'm working a career job to study law while writing a novel. It's not as busy as it sounds if you're lazy with all three. - I've recently become addicted to weightlifting, biking and jogging while listening to the Rolling Stones. - I can cook actual food just fine, even well, but I cannot cook a decent chocolate chip cookie. It might be my oven. - I've had enough sex to know I'm good at it but too much to believe it alone will make me happy. - I'm not ruling out a relationship, but I honestly am looking for friends first.

As for the friends, or whatever, I dig card games, biking, trivia and adventures. I'm not into clubs. I got that out of my system at 15. And if you're just looking to hook up, that's awesome. But it's not for me. Hit me up anyway though, I'm sure you've got some great stories to tell and I'm always looking for material to write about.

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT TURN ON GIRLS: I play the guitar, but all my songs somehow sound like an acoustic version of "Your Body is a Wonderland". I love kittens. And baby animals. And babies. And anything normal-sized that's been made really tiny. Like a working coca-cola dispenser that's six inches tall, and has itty bitty coke cans in it. I love that stuff. I'd rather hold hands and just look into your eyes or give you a foot massage than have sex, and to me, true intimacy is a lifelong commitment where you spend my money on shoes and purses and watch "Sex in the City" with your girlfriends while I make you guys calorie-free nachos and choca-tinis.

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT TURN POTENTIAL STRAIGHT MALE FRIENDS ON: Dude. Halo. Beers. Game at 6. Strippers. Call of Duty. Beer Pong. Stripper Pong. Atari Pong, but with Beer Pong rules. Wingman 4 Life. And me and my friends always eat free at Hooters because I once found a toe in my hot wings.

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT TURN ON POTENTIAL GAY MALE FRIENDS: Uh, Halo?

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT TURN ON POTENTIAL LESBIAN FRIENDS: I completely get it. I love women too. And I know your whole "lesbian thing" is just an act because you haven't found the right guy, but I'm too cool to mention it. Also, I love the Indigo Girls.

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT TURN ON POTENTIAL TRANSGENDERED FRIENDS: My deep and compassionate nature, my sense of humor, my confusion over what the acronyms mean (MTF, FTM, MTFT, TMNT, etc) and of course, Halo.

I imagine we'd talk on the phone, then maybe get coffee. Just friendly. I guess my preference would be something easy-going followed by something fun. Like, meeting at Starbucks and then immediately playing freeze tag in the mall with a group of friends and friendly strangers. That would be cool.


NEW QUESTION: Are you happiest when your good fortune is given to you, when you earn it or when you take it?