I've been told I'm quite good looking. I was in my bathroom at the time and the person who said it was adeptly mimicking my every move.

I'm tired of the bar scene. I prefer to be rejected in quieter places, so I go to church.

I paint both walls and canvas - the former with fewer colours. To avoid painting some walls and leaving traceable evidence I sit to pee.

I had Attention-Deficit-Disorder for a while, but then the hockey game ended.

I like people who can laugh at themselves but I am put off by poor spelling. Then I laugh at the poor spellers, because they don't even know they should be laughing at themselves.

I like all races, except Canadians of Scottish and French heritage. Please don't tell my Scottish and French forebears. I also like several species, like cats and dragonflies. Oh and rabbits, ducks, geese, most wild canines, whales, pickerel, coelacanths, spruce, oak, maple, avocados, garlic and strawberries - not so much pigeons, because of the freakishly strong disturbingly awful smell, and their glowing solid-red eyes you can't tell are looking at or away from you. I'd add kumquats but I don't want to be censored.

Does cycling keep me fit?! Just feel my thighs!

Possession-addicted small minds need not apply: I am interested in stimulating conversation much more than...than...excuse me Wheel of Fortune is coming on.

January 1, 15 billion BCE, as far as I know.