The Oratory begins thus: KIA ORA! I'm a well-worn middle-aged ex-everything kind of man. I'm a high-miler. I am the kind of person who is surprised that I DO NOT WIN the lottery every other draw. Is that a good or bad thing? I ain't tall dark OR handsome, rich, nor live in a mansion. I'm a "trailer-park boy" crossed with "The Sopranos" kind of guy. I expect a lot. Some say I have "an attitude of entitlement". I love who I love (my kids, whom if you harm in any way shape or form ,you will eventually find our planet very tiny indeed.So pay close attention Inbredson. Oh. And my silly ol' cats,as well as my many friends and family). I like toying with computers and I am becoming quite proficient in my own limited fashion. I like huge ol' cars from the '70's(I have a nice '77 Lincoln Mk V which will be fully restored soon if I can keep the hillbillies from shooting it up, since I guess they haven't yet realised that I'm THEIR karma. The poor simple fools).I like tattoos & have quite a few myself. I love to cook and I am told that I am very good at it. I like watching film noir, listening to the Blues & ol' Mo'town & Jazz. I love going to the beach, visiting with my friends(of which I have MANY...just not here in de swamp), attending intimate musical venues, and fly-fishing if I ever get the time and the opportunity again. It would be nice to have a companion who enjoys these things as well. I'd prefer the company of an intelligent, petite(but I can be coerced otherwise by a LADY with a nice personality) brunette. The only things I WON'T tolerate OR condone:Klan-supporters, crackheads, and/or "bunny-boilers" need not apply(You know who you are),as I'm in a town FULL of people like that, and seriously,I've seen enough ASS-tattoos hangin'out 'round here in "Dog-patch" that read "CAUTION: DO NOT OVER-INFLATE". I LOVE cooking up a storm(THERE GOES YOUR DIET)and trying out different kinds of recipes & cuisine, with wild game and fresh pickerel being at the top of my list as well as being my all-time favorites.(So If you killed it or caught it...You EAT it!) I love the smell of a wood-fire in the evening, the sound of Canada geese returning in the spring, the sound of a vintage Harley Davidson, Norton, Triumph, or Moto-Guzzi firing up, the sounds that a happy, contented woman makes, and the laughter of happy children(somewhat rare around these parts). I like the sound of silence beside the lake as the sun sets below the horizon. I like the sound of pow-wow drums, the noise made by jingle-dress dancers and the voices of the warriors as they sing for the creator. I like the sound of my cats purring contentedly beside me as I lay in bed in the morning. And although they have left home, I did a pretty fair job of raising my kids on my own TYVM, regardless of having taken an early retirement due to disability and the toxic social scene of the local community proper....gasps for air....bows with a flourish. P.S. - I DETEST cowards. If anyone has anything to beef about with me, SAY IT TO MY FACE IN PUBLIC. And NOT behind my back.

And ends: A first date? What a concept! I haven't had a first date in over a decade(Guess I just ain't really tryin' too hard. And even though it might be "normal" out here, even if I HAD a sister I find it distasteful to even SUGGEST "dating" her. BESIDES the fact that tha gals out here always ate my damned crayons. Yeah. I AM serious, but like I SAID: I'm THEIR KARMA. What goes around, etc. etc.) Well,I'd start by cookin' a great meal(note to self:NEVER FRY BACON IN THE NUDE AGAIN), one where I won't have to do the dishes afterwards(hint-hint, go on. Get to it!),then going out and watching a nice blues band performin', then maybe sneakin'out to the Red River or the Sandy-Bar beach to try & catch a catfish at midnight. Sweating up a sleeping bag under the stars would be nice too, but probably not on the first date. Maybe the second date. (don't get all tingly thinkin' about it, I'm JUST KIDDING) I would expect the lady to be old enough to APPRECIATE other genres of music. AND food. AND entertainment. AND HUMOUR. I AM, after all, a middle-aged guy, and a renaissance man. I have been described as "Hemingwayesque". Unfortunately my caustic humour & personality would be wasted messing with the local talent, so why bother. Know what I mean, Vern?

Female
Age between 25 and 50
Live in Canada
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