I love meat, motorcycles, and roller derby. My facial hair is ever-changing. I wear mandals and am not ashamed. I once came across an orphaned bear in the woods and raised it as my own. I once fell out of an airplane only to be caught by a hanglider who dropped me onto a barge that sank but not before releasing a dinghy that was scooped up by a helicopter that dropped me off at my front door. I have a phantom limb that does nothing but give hi-fives. I violate the Heisenburg uncertainty principle.