About Me I've been deluded~~eluded~~and polluted and sometimes all in the same day!~~I'd like to start having fun again.I want to get to know some nice people and make friends.**Not asking anyone to feel sorry , we all make our own bed so we need to pull the sheets tight, cause those ol' wrinkles can get mighty uncomfortable..I am at present just straightening mine...I am totally in to playing games, cuz' apparently no one else is and that makes me original! (humor people only humor!)I can cuss like a sailor or be as prim and proper as the preachers wife at Sunday morning services! I am most comfortable in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt but clean-up nicely too!(hate dress shoes) I can run a trot line or skin a buck deer 'cause this country girl will survive! ~Please, Please, Please...if we have not written to eachother at least once don't try to IM me...how could I possibly know if I wanna chat with you or not?


Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring boyfriend started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satis faction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my boyfriend!!!!
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product .

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people. Now if you still wanna chat try missinmizeree with a big cowboy yell....!
AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ARE DEFINED BY HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES....AND NOT BY WHAT SOMEONE THINKS OF US!! ok.....?
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical. ~~~ Our OIL is located in ~~~ ALASKA ~~~ California ~~~ Coastal Florida ~~~ Coastal Louisiana ~~~ Kansas ~~~ Oklahoma ~~~ Pennsylvania and Texas ~~~ Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington , DC!!! ? Any Questions??? NO? Didn't think So.




What Gets Longer When Pulled,

Fits Between your Boobs,

Inserts Neatly in a Hole

AND Works Best When Jerked? A Seatbelt you Pervert! Buckle Up!
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their *sses.
The results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their *ss is too fat...
10% of women think their *ss is too skinny...
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
Three women: one engaged, one married and one mistress are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.
That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night when my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

I'm pretty open to both old and new experiences....so I guess it would depend on the person. But humor is a must.....no laughs...? well I just couldn't live like that!
My motto: The only man worth crying over is a good man....and a good man never makes you cry......
...now y'all know I love harley's but this was too funny!!...What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Theirpersonalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Whydid OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do Drivers' Ed classes in Arkansas schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..and the southern fairy tale begind"Hey y'all aint gonna believe this shit!"Mail Settings (To message janieallen you MUST meet the following criteria.)Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.