Tired of flakes :P

Warning: NSA sex with me can be addictive and hazardous to your health!
(And yes, the car *IS* mine)

I DO know if you've read my profile or not. Don't bother faking it. Your first message will make it very obvious. :P

****One of my MAJOR pet peeves is people who type U instead of YOU or R instead of ARE. If you can't speak proper English, please don't bother.
******

NOT INTERESTED IN WEBCAMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unlike a lot of shlups I *WORK* for a living and NO I WILL NOT DROP EVERYTHING TO MEET YOU RIGHT NOW. Get fukkin real. DOn'T SEND ME DIRTY STORIES! This has 0 enjoyment for me, and it's a quick ticket to blockdom.

NOTE: If your initial message b*tches or complains about the length of my profile, you will be BLOCKED. If you don't realize there is a reason behind having a profile, and for me to actually say what I'm looking for in it IN DETAIL, FUKK OFF got it? Don't ask me what I'm looking for when it's here in plain black and white.

DO NOT send me a message with your picture and the word "interested?" A picture is a stepping stone, but I don't base ANYTHING off a picture. How the hell would I know if I'm interested if I don't know you have a personality? Like wtf. Seriously.

NO PIC NO RESPONSE!
The pic thing is NON-NEGOTIABLE. Don't give me this "I don't have a pic up for obvious reasons" bs... you don't have to put it anywhere but private, but if I can put my damn pic up so can you.

When writing a message to me please keep in mind, it's not a job application, it's a communication from one human to another. Use your imagination and let your personality shine through, I'm more interested in that than in your vital statistics and curriculum vitae. Oh, and "Hi how are u?" is NOT a conversation starter, give me more than that to work with ok?

PLEASE NOTE:
No I don't want to watch you on webcam, I don't want to webcam for you, I don't want to meet out of the blue after not seeing a picture or having a conversation because you happen to have a free afternoon. I may be looking for NSA sex, but I am allowed to have choice/preference, and I PREFER to have some conversation first, HOWEVER I am only interested in people who want to meet. Not dirty chat, not flirt, not cam, MEET! Flakes, fakes and posers need not apply.

***Not looking for couples unless THEY are looking for COUPLES. I do not play alone with couples. Thank you for your respect of this and good luck on your search.***


I am not barbie, I never claimed to be, I have a few curves, I'm definitely not a "big" girl, but if you are some kind of body snob, move on along. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder. A perfect 10 can be a perfect b*tch, just as easily as any other girl.

I DO want a guy who wants a fun, intense relationship.. Mental connection is EXTREMELY important to me. Sex is 90% mental, and it doesn't matter if you're a supermodel or Mister Plain Jane, as long as the mental connection is there, things will happen, guaranteed, and fireworks WILL erupt (possibly around the ENTIRE planet simultaniously. Ya, I'm THAT good)

A lot of people think that because I had very specific likes and dislikes in my profile, that I haven't met anyone good or talked to anyone worthwhile..this is not the case..there are some awesome people out there, but there are a lot of idiots too. This is just the natural ratio of life.

I don't want romance, wine and roses, or walks on the park. I am VERY happily married, I love my husband, he is knowing, supportive, and understanding, he gets his, I get mine, we meet in the middle and have our own crazy monkeysex. Sure, if someone is down for it, he loves to watch or even join, but it isn't NECCESSARY I DO play alone, but it's enjoyed when I can find it ;)

Please don't type at me in ALL CAPS. On the internet, this is considered YELLING, and if you were to walk up to some chick in a bar and yell HEY GIRL, YOU'RE HOT, WANNA GET TOGETHER!?" you'd more likely end up with a drink in your face or a smack upside the head than getting your dinky stinky. Think about it.

One of my MAJOR pet peeves is people who type U instead of YOU or R instead of ARE. If you can't speak proper English, please don't bother.

Having a big penis isn't going to impress me. I am more fond of average, so if you have a baby's arm in your pants please keep in mind that you will be working a little harder to get near my pink parts. Having a big member does not a good lay make. Remember and learn! :P


With me, what you see is what you get, and I don't beat around the bush for anyone. If you can't handle me being honest, again, move on, because I'm not going to mince my words for anyone, not going to bend or comprimise my personal rules, and no means no, nuff said.

If I don't get back to you, I do apologize. I get swamped with messages, but I also delete messages that don't meet my critera without even looking at them (If the subject line is U R Hot, say goodbye). NO PICTURE NO RESPONSE!!! And please don't send a message assuming I want to meet you without a picture, or a means of seeing one. If you don't have a picture, you better have a DAMN impressive message, that's all I have to say. Ya, I might seem picky, but diligence always pays off. ;)

No needy people please. I'm not here for your entertainment. If you don't respect the fact that I work and get busy and cry and complain when I don't jump to respond immediately, we won't be a match. Thanks.

I don't often message people first. If I have, you are lucky! LOL! :)

I really prefer not to set out a formula for a date or a first time meeting. I much prefer to allow things to happen as they happen and feed off the energy of the moment. Allows for far more possibilities ;)