These profile things have become so cliche and monotonous...half of you reading probably have several other sites you're on, and so you must be thinking, "I have to write ANOTHER one of these mother F'n things?! Screw it! They're only looking at the picture anyway!" Well ladies, I ask you to do the same thing here. I mean honestly, if the picture doesn't grab your attention, will you REALLY read on anyway?...

Ahh...you're still here! How nice :-) Since you managed to sit through my silly little rant and think I'm quite the attractive fellow, I might as well give you a little insight as to who I am...

I love to laugh! That's my favorite thing to do. (Well, definitely a strong second. This site IS being monitored :-). Making others laugh is also something I love to do. I listen to Opie and Anthony everyday, its a sickness. When I say everyday, I MEAN EVERYDAY. Anthony gives me the squirts. Lil' Jimmy is so adorable. Opie is the maestro. Baseball is my other love. I'm not one of the douchebags who say, "You can only root for ONE NY team, mannnnnnnn!" Screw that. I love BOTH teams. How do you like them apples? I also love watching comedies...Friends, Will and Grace, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Everybody Loves Raymond for the most part. I listen to many different types of music, with Rock being my favorite. I'm also learning how to cook. I've learned that being able to boiler water and microwave a Smart Ones tv dinner doesn't qualify you as a cook. Therefore, I've purchased "Cooking for shaved-headed dummies" and have begun to peel onions. It's not easy, but I'm not a quitter. I will learn how to cook.

I'm looking for someone who has a great sense of humor, isn't a slut, nor an alcoholic. If, on every Friday after work you go, "Biatches, I can't WAIT to get to Mirage so I can get shitfaced!", I DON'T want to hear from you. If, you can hold your liquor like a good little girl, and not have to throw up while having your girlfriend hold your hair every weekend, I would LIKE to hear from you.

You know who you are...you read my profile and you are either nodding your head going, "yeah, this is my kinda guy. I will definitely email him.", or shaking your head going, "oh man, this guy sucks. I bet his breath smells like ass crumbs." If you're thinking the former, please feel free to email good ol' Steve. If you're the latter, I'm sorry you have such awful taste, tee hee hee :-)

A good first date for me would be to do something where we can sit and talk and get to know one another. We're not trying to reinvent the wheel here. Dinner would be nice, but what if we hate one another? It's not so easy to get up and leave when food is on the table. So maybe coffee at dunkin donuts. It's a short run to the parking lot.