This thing has no direction, it's a culmination of random and incoherent jibber jabber... lies wrapped in a somewhat shinny truth..

-I'm studying for a masters in music, school keeps me busy and broke....
-Single, probably because of the first thing on the list, possibly a few more to follow.
-I'm a hardworking musician... smoking weed and having naps is a lot of work..
-Something about eating fish makes me sick.... but they look good in my fish tank
-I love all things that rock or have a level of radness.
-Guitars are my religion and I worship the 6 string God without fail everyday
-Making music is my passion, it's also my curse.
-I play in 3 bands.... A crushing death metal band, tech metal and a jazz improve band.
-No way! you can play guitar hero on expert!!! guess what! I don't care!!!!!
-You can bribe me with apple pie
-I'm the smartest mentally challenged adult you'll ever meet
-I hate anything trendy and media driven.... especially EMO... Six years ago it was a myth..., now its a plague... sh.tty music, sh.tty hair and guys wearing pink pants.
-Living life to the fullest sounds like a lot of work, I just live... nobody likes over achievers..
-Loyalty is something I value
-Wow! you like camping, puppies, walks on the beach and your friends! so rare, so unique.... let me guess you like oxygen too.
-Sarcasm.....
-Soy products are evil, fueling an army of freakish health zombie's that can crap soy latte's while running... ruining my cereal and coffee in the process.
-I sing duets with myself
-Ninja's are cool
-Intergalactic Kung-Fu monkey's from the future are even cooler.
-Batman beats kung-fu monkey's and ninja's every Friday night in a game of high stakes, no limit Omaha style poker.
-When you make kissing faces and sexy lips at the camera.... it's not hot or cute, it's F.uc.king retarded.
-You don't have to earn my respect, I give it freely and openly.... until you burn me then you never will have it again..... EVER!!!
-I go the distance for family and friends
-We should make Soylent Green.... yes.. it's made from people and very yummy.
-Vagina is overrated.. especially yours, I heard it smelled like an old boot... EWWW!
-Sleeping is fantastic, Mid-day naps are the best
-I couldn't give a S.H.I.T what someone thinks of me...
-I have no shame... I believe in my actions
-The best day ever would involve Brad Pitt and Angelina Jo-lee making headlines one last time after a horrific plane accident.... hopefully on the way to adopt a 6 month old Ugandan child.
-Ranting is a gift....
-Fresh vegetables from my own garden everyday would be so sweet
-Wow!! you have 50+ favorites!! You must be really cool... or a whore, I'm thinking whore
-I'm not cool enough for a tattoo... or a piercing, I'll live vicariously through yours...
-I'll spit on your SUV
-Your big sunglasses make you look like a slut
-History, Science and Art entertain me
-I make slightly more money than your dad did in the 70's... high roller.. yup that's me.
-Dark Beer makes me feel at home
-I'm a descendant of an ancient alien race from the Lyra constellation(so are you)
-I look younger than I am (due to alien genes of course)
-When I pimp my ride, I put speed holes in the side(with a hammer)
-The world doesn't end in 2012, it begins in 2013
-I want a spaceship desperately, no you can't come
-I can grow a mean beard... ever seen a chest beard? I have one of those too.
-Always look directly into the sun
-Never look directly at a guy with track pants and a hat on sideways, he'll make you laugh and then burn your eyes.
-I hate Metallica..... and Nickleback even more
-Aerosmith were better when they did drugs... wait Aerosmith haven't been good since the 70's.
-Spider Man is the worst Trilogy ever, but I'll still watch it
-I like to go on alcoholic benders 2 times a year that last a week
-My mom thinks I'm handsome, so I must be
-Nothing on this earth scares me... except New Kids on the Block reuniting
-Nice pics with all your girlfriends.... which one are you? Probably not the hot one :(

Well.. first I'd say we'd have to go somewhere that has an elevator and 30 floors, that way I can fart.. you can smell it all the way to the top, and then if you don't puke or kick me in the shin, we're off to a good start and all that tension in the air has been broken.... literally. After that, I'm thinking food might be a good Idea.. I'm pretty classy and like to treat a lady right, so lets stop in the local burger king and hit us up some tasty slaughtered cow... and by all means load that burger up!!!... I like to splurge and showcase my wallet, but if you want a drink or an ice cream... we'll have to shake on me getting a little nookie later that night. So now your bellies full, and you're obviously impressed with how absolutely amazing I am (a true renaissance man and a perfect gentleman I know) there's nothing stopping us from getting some intense "chika bow wow" by the garbage bin. (remember we shook on it) and fear not, if we're having problems making things "fit" that's what those slippery, greasy burgers were for... they be dual use honey.... ahhh a perfect night... so romantic and special. Something to tell our 14 grandchildren.