I'm gonna spill my guts...............Y'all might want to grab a drink.

Got me a house on a few acres, I throw a bon fire party they can see from outerspace. Got my head screwed on somewhat straight, a 4 wheel drive, always pay for the date and if you're lookin for one person to spend the rest of your life with, well so am I.

I'm a smartass; the guy everyone punches, the guy beatin up the kids, the first guy the kids spray with water. Im the guy who made his sister cry on April Fools Day, the guy whos friends plot to get revenge on, the guy that secretly pours whiskey in other peoples soda cans, the bad guitar picker that keeps on playin, the guy expected to do somethin naughty.

I like being home and doin things round here. Not religious, but pray sometimes. Middle child 2 sisters, 4 brother-in-laws, go figure. Gots more kin folk than you can shake a stick at. No criminal record(yet). Jeans and T-shirts kinda guy. My friends are retarded. I'm losin my battle with blackberrys and weeds. Have never hit a woman or cheated even if she did deserve it.

Bullshi**er, beerspiller, clam digger, crab cracker, dog whisperer, ball thrower, light switcher, button pusher, door holder, wood splitter, rock collector, spider smasher and more. Always helpin someone in a bynd. Respectful, disrespectful, a hardass and very open minded all at the same time. The only dance I know is the chicken dance. Buried 1000 dollars in my yard, just in case. No place I hang out is concidered a club. Favorite color: John Deere Green.

Joke around a lot but my nostrels flair when I'm pist. Finally got the T.V. workin. There are bones and balls everywhere. I like sex in the morning. You'll need to get a run at my driveway or shift into 4x4. I can stare at the tip of a fishin pole or look thru a set of binoculars, all day long. Never been in a relationship lasting longer than 9 months(ever)....And if it wasn't for Palmela Handerson I wouldn't get any action at all.

Go to bed late, get up early.....usually. Talk to myself. Recycle, take my own trash to the dump. Got excersize equipment that I hardly ever use. My dog sheds on all that I own. Keep my birdfeeders full. Don't wanna cook. Huntin season is year round, somethin is always open. I was abducted by aliens twice, they took my apendix & wisdom teeth. I grow a beard in the fall, and shower less. Shop at Cabelas, Bass Pro Shops and Bobs sporting goods. I'm an organ donor, prochoice, progun, promotion, profreedom, procapitol punishment, procrastination....donate to the less fortunate and the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation.

Always tryin to be the nice guy, don't judge people, walk a mile in their shoes, be a giver not a taker, be the coolest uncle, don't cus as much, save the planet, drink less, manage money, exersize, some things are easier said than done. Play about any sport, and will try near anything. Eat most everything, stuff alota people won't eat. Lookin for a good time always. Enjoy competition and if someone trys to beat me I'm gonna put'em in the wall.

Physically: No tattoos or piercings, gettin some crazy nose hairs, got Hi metabolism and am always a little thin. I can grow a hair helmit, got crooked toes, and am usually sportin a goatee. My tooths aren't exactly straight and a little off white. Got them wanderin hands, and can't hold my leg stil. Sometimes a bit of a tweeker--could be residual effects from all the stupid sh** I've done in my life--or it might be A.D.H.D. Don't need too much caffiene thats for sure.

Got a good job workin on pipelines all over the NorthWest, currently Fall City, but I'm always thinkin about home. Like liven in the country and want no part of the big city rat race. From time to time it looks like a twister landed in the house, but Mom comes to help dig me out(I'm her favorite). My house isn't quite finished, always somethin I should be workin on, maybe tomorrow.

Thats all I have to say about that.

YOU MIGHT BE THE GIRL FOR ME IF: You can put up with my crap and make me a better man. Grow a Garden or cook a decent meal. If your profile doesn't say "A few extra pounds". If you have ever lived in a tent. If a seafood festival is marked on your calender. If you don't have to get all dolled up just to go have breakfast. If you like pets and enjoy nature, own a boat, or sometimes wear a dress. If your not old enough to be my mom or young enough to be my daughter. If you can poop in the woods. If you would much rather rize BEFORE the sun. If breakin the rules feels like the right thing to do. If you enjoy playin sports. If you can pull a tick off me. If you clean up nice but don't mind gettin dirty. If rain doesn't ruin everything. If you have ever seen a bigfoot. You might be the girl for me if any of this made you laugh.

First dates are tuff, reckon I could come up with somethin.....Maybe; a drive in the country, dinner, or fishin in the dark. Howabouta coupla drinks. Hey! we could clean my house (hehe). Drive to Vegas and get married. Take a walk, cow tippin, movies. Paint our names on the water tower. Join a cult, hypnotize a chicken, pray for a miracle. Raw Oyster Shooters. Go snipe huntin, check for ticks, then swap spit. Well.......... maybe not all on the first date.

My dogs get more mail than me, Plenty of Fish My A**.