Hoho, I just love filling out these things. If you saw me walking up the street towards you, you'd think "Oh my gawd, he's massive." Cause I am. In the good if not so convenient way, and the convenient if not so good way. If you can call it convenient. Which you can't. Following me so far? Didn't think so. Doesn't matter, it won't be on the test.

I'm not here looking for love or anything like that, just to meet new people and make some friends. I'm fairly new to Oxford, and don't really know anyone here yet, so I thought I'd try a dating site to find some new buddies. Because that makes sense. I'm very keen to hear from anyone who's ever had the cause to use the term "I want a helicopter on the roof or the hostages die!" or "This is a MAGIC ring? You're kidding me, right?" and especially "Huh, I think I just worked out how to travel through time."

Anyway... I'm easily approachable as I've worked in retail before. I'm also very cynical as I've worked in retail before. But overall, I'd say I'm a nice guy, so if you're interested in making a new friend, pop me a note. On the whole retail work note, I also know how to kill someone with just a Mother's Day card, and put a fire out with two 500ml bottles of Sprite.

If you like The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy and such, or Red Dwarf, Spaced, Scrubs and such, we'll probably get on quite well, I'd imagine.

I've come to the conclusion that women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, all the rest have got some dumb sod parked across two of them.

By the way, very sorry ladies but I'm not interested in a one-nighter or similar. I'm flattered and all, the pictures of various body parts are lovely I'm sure, but it'll not do you any good! If you want a nice chat however, then feel free!
UPDATE: Seriously! Ladies! Please stop sending me naked pictures of yourselves, I really don't respect that move as much as just saying a nice hello! Honestly...

Last five songs my playlist threw up:
Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
Kanye West - We Don't Care
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Comin' Home
Kasabian - Reason is Treason
The Streets - Empty Cans

Right! We get the tube into Camden and head straight for the nearest bog-standard Indie-oriented bar. We smoke a phatty-boom-batty on the way so that we can be absolutely muntered by the time we order our first drink. We stay there for a few hours, where if all goes to plan we'll end up laughing like a couple of twats. We then relocate to a low-level High Street pub with an eclectic jukebox and keep drinking until we A, Fall over, B, Puke, or C, Fall over and puke.