DISCLAIMER: I haven't touched Starcraft in years. But people seem to like the tagline, so I'm keeping it.

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Most of the time I act like an idiot in a misguided attempt to get people to laugh.

I moved here from Canada a few months ago. Naturally I should be out indulging in intellectual pursuits, debauchery and ultraviolence, but I can't because I don't know anybody. I have a personal adventure quota and I try to stick to it, but let's face it, having adventures on your own ALL THE TIME sucks balls. But since I like to run out, learn things and have said adventures, I like to think I switch gears at a rapid pace. What I'm doing right now may not be what I was doing a few months earlier. Hell, this profile changes all the goddamn time depending on my mood and what I think feels 'accurate' at any given second.

I am currently in a PhD program studying neuroscience. The immediate response I usually get for this is "ooOOOOOOO. You must be SO. SMART." I never know how to handle compliments lest I make myself out to be arrogant, so I would ideally just tell the person I got in the program because I slept with the Dean, and watch for the look on his/her face.

I like attending interesting lectures, going to museum exhibits and occasionally trying various flavours of cigars. I enjoy reading Asian philosophy, learning Japanese/Chinese/Latin, surfing the latest issues of Nature Reviews Neuroscience and quoting Carl Sagan. I think there's something terribly awesome about putting on a little black dress and drinking a glass of red wine once in awhile. I think book-burning is one of the greatest crimes against humanity there is. I can rock the floor if I'm dancing Foxtrot, but I would LOVE to learn Tango. I dabble in meditation, teach Tai Chi and love awesomely-choreographed kung-fu movies. I base my choice of personal trainer on how big of an a--hole he is. I have a busted knuckle on my left hand from when I punched a board wrong, but I still managed to break it. I look amazing in a Chun Li costume. I will eat absolutely anything so long as it doesn't involve insects, because bugs are gross. I think barrel-aged beer is delicious and that there is no greater feeling than jumping around and belting it out to Irish music while drunk. If club music has a solid beat and a catchy melody, I will dance to it. Bright sunny days with a stiff breeze are the best. Scary movies and Japanese slapstick comedy are fantastic. Scandalous theater and raunchy improv are also fantastic. I want to be the Baroness from GI Joe when I grow up. I have a guilty pleasure in Regency England bodice-ripper novels and therefore in dashing rogues who think they can best me. I swear like a sailor. I think a stripper joint with a breakfast buffet would be an awesome hangout, because bacon tastes good.

And I'd still like to get to bed at a decent hour despite all this.


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CONGRATUMALASHONS YOU READ THIS FAR!!!!

I have zero interest (zero, zero, zero!) in a long-term relationship and would much prefer to be single. So, I'm mostly looking for people to hang out with who have a penchant for learning (especially), 4-chan grade humour and harmless mischief. Despite my perceived vivaciousness, I'm actually a huge introvert and I can burn out quickly sometimes, so bonus points x10000000 if you're comfortable with the the occasional silence, because those are nice too.

Let's get creative! Trying some obscure food for the first time is always a winner. If I learn something along the way, bonus! If a stupidly funny story comes out of it, double bonus! If you're truly epic we can try something nifty, like taiko drumming or kali stickfighting or somesort. Or we can just armwrestle, whatev.

The effects of Mai-Mae may be attenuated if you suffer from chronic douchebaggery, an overly distended ego, prudishness, a sensitive and easily-offended disposition, the condition known as hotdog fingers, a disrespectful and condescending nature, advanced clinginess, an excessive reliance on small-talk, the T-virus, or extreme otaku-dom. If you are unsure if Mai-Mae is right for you, please see your doctor.