What is there to say about me except the word "cactus"? Probably lots of other words, now that I think about it. But I am probably too lazy to list those other words. So "cactus" will have to do.

I am basically your run-of-the-mill awesome dude. Occasionally I may just be a walk-of-the-mill dude, but usually I have enough stamina to run those mills. I'm a rabid atheist who abhors creationism. Of course, I am relatively nice to anyone who is not a religious fanatic hell-bent on legislating divisive Christian morality through congress...but I usually end up punching crazy fundamentalists. If you're not a fundy, however, take heart! I will only punch you with half the force I usually reserve for them. Which is still a lot, given my manly strength, but you'll just have to build up some calluses.

I am a very silly, non-serious individual, for the most part. My sense of humor is best described as "severely corny" or else "make it stop, for the love of God". Those are actual quotes, my friends!

Politically, I'm extremely liberal. When it comes to social freedoms, I am your basic hippie who believes drugs, prostitution, gambling, and other victimless crimes should be legal. (What's strange is that I don't gamble, do drugs, or have sex. Well, not with prostitutes, at least.) Feel free to ask why I want these legal if you don't understand, as I can be very persuasive. Religiously, I'm extremely non-religious. I once stood up next to a street preacher and rambled on about all the evidence for evolution when he started saying evolution is a lie. This is how awesome I am. I also eat dead babies and worship satan, apparently, because this is what many people think being an atheist entails.

Anyway, my passion in life is, by far, learning. (Sadly, though, it often gets sidetracked by video games, mixed martial arts shows, and cleaning up my dog's urine.) Subjects of interest are philosophy, biology, genetics, cognitive psychology, literary theory (or just plain "theory" for those, like me, who think the distinction of "literature" is arbitrary and useless), mathematics (perhaps my biggest intellectual weakness), religion, and poop, or wherever these subjects may intersect, like the philosophy of feces (How many feces can dance on the head of a pin?, Is the true nature of feces material, mental, or is it best defined functionally?, etc.)

If you have no interest in learning or knowledge whatsoever, or if you are a person with ambitions centering having a husband who is incredibly rich and ambitious, then we may not be very compatible, unless you are totally hilarious to make up for all that. At the moment, I'm not interested in starting a family or having children--I'm not quite interested in any responsibility beyond dog ownership--but if you have your own kids I'm okay with that. I'm willing to have a long-term, committed relationship, but I am hesitant to ever get married for a variety of reasons. I tend to think commitment should be safeguarded by caring and trust rather than laws and swarms of lawyers, for instance, and generally I frown upon institutions that have historically treated women like property to be "given away." Finally, I do not have huge career goals to make lots and lots of money. I have an English degree; the words "lots of money" and "English degree" are mutually exclusive, I'm afraid (although it does make me proficient at using semicolons, which should send you into a jealous grammatical frenzy). I work in publishing, assisting with copyediting and proofreading and other such matters, even though I'm a bit of a linguistic nihilist who sees "proper grammar" as an arbitrary construct to which people give authority as a superficial way to imply quality or else ostracize various groups outside of the "standard English" white-washed world. Being an editor who thinks grammar is relatively unimportant and used more for social construction reasons than for clarity is a bit like being a Christian atheist or a vegetarian shark. At any rate, I pride myself on knowledge and education and being good at what I do, even if it does doom me to a life of poverty and having to hunt pigeons for sustenance.

Also, if you, too, find yourself becoming irate that this site lists lobsters and whales as "fish" personalities, we'd probably get along famously and could spend hours mocking websites that confuse biological taxonomies.

By the way, not all of my interests are pretentious. I also like pure, simple things like taking walks in parks, eating fatty foods, watching MMA, and staring at people for long periods of time until they get freaked out.

Also, if you haven't figured this out, I'm a pretty big dorky nerd. I don't do stuff the typical cool kids do at the clubs and such, and when I do go out drinking it's usually to discuss science/philosophy/skepticism with my buddies in the St. Louis Skeptical Society. There's nothing quite like trying to explain Godel's Theorem while drunk!

The ideal first date would involve the two of us playing twister with my grandmother and my dog and then forcing the loser to eat a big hunk of cheese sculpted into the shape of a goat while singing mexican folk songs. As you can see, ladies, I know how to party!

I try to enjoy an active lifestyle, so anything like that would be fun, as well. Of course, I'm not a Beefy McManbeef, so don't expect ultra hardened abs here and pecs here. At any rate, I enjoy crap like hiking and playing mediocre tennis. I'm also a movie lover. Generally, I watch real serious artsy type crap. Here's looking at you with a randomly detached eyeball floating in pudding, David Lynch. I also like quirky comedies and good television series, too, so don't despair if you hate arthouse type films that make you want to commit suicide. Trying new foods is also good times. I've eaten strange things like snails, octopus, pregnant crickets, and fertilized duck eggs. It is my goal in life to eat one of every species, damn it! I think this explains why I can eat uncooked two-month old chicken and not get sick. However, I'm willing to settle for just plain ethnic food instead of these more obscure and frightening choices. (And for the record, no, I do not usually enjoy these wild and crazy foods; although the snails were surprisingly delicious---but what isn't when slathered in buttery sauce?)

In conversation, I tend to enjoy talking religion or politics, which isn't good considering that most people, particularly women, abhor talking about these subjects. If you enjoy discussing religion (primarily from an atheistic perspective), the various "culture wars" concerning abortion, creationism, and so on (hopefully siding with the liberal side), and politics, I think we'd get along great. With that said, though, I suppose I wouldn't mind any type of conversation, which explains why I'm able to put up with a best friend who talks incessantly about knitting.

Usually I'm pretty quiet. I wouldn't say that I'm shy; I just don't like to talk just for the sake of hearing my own voice, or breaking a silence. Plus I'm usually in a perpetual state of mind where I'm thinking, "Crap, think of something to say to this beautiful girl" instead of actually starting a conversation. Or maybe I'm only quiet because I'm undressing you with my eyes. My eyes, after all, are terribly proficient at undoing bras. Sometimes, however, I will talk incessantly and rapidly about random crap if I am nervous. So if I am talking a lot about random crap with you, it probably means I am nervous and you should slap me with a trout to calm me down. Ah, those soothing trout!

Getting to know someone matters more than the date activity. With the right person, even shoveling manure could be fun. (Although I usually wait until at least the sixth date before the manure-shoveling stage of the relationship.)