A -long- time ago I put some time and effort into writing a pithy and informative description of myself. I even followed the PoF rules, omitting details like my real name and address (life was sooo much simpler before the days of cyberstalking and identity fraud).

What I got for my trouble was a flurry of mail order bride solicitations and invitations to send money orders to far-flung lands in exchange for dates. I -really- enjoyed collecting those emails. So after a long break, I'm back. I'm eagerly anticipating the strange grammatical constructions, bizarro turns of phrase, and hard-to-resist attempts at on-line seduction. The net has been cast ... let's see what turns up.

Did my pic 'cut your eyes'? Are you hoping that my intervention will compel that mean hotel manager in Lagos to hand over your return airline ticket so you can fly back home to the U.S. from Nigeria? Is your real name Vlad? Chances are you've sent me mail here before, but in case you missed out before, you've got a second chance ...please do me the favor of posting a real-looking profile pic, though. It's no fun to pass your spam around if I don't have a photo to go along with the gag!

Seriously, though, if you're a real person, live in the immediate area (Washington DC metro), and can stand the occasional sarcastic outburst, drop a note. I'm not looking for an immediate committment -- I happen to think that dating is fun, and I'm not even close to making that grim march to the altar. I'm 'that guy' -- the guy who gives odds on the survivability of friends' marriages.

You get bonus points if any of the following sound familiar (no cheating!): Devo, Oingo Boingo, DKs, Gleaming Spires, Polysics ... 'Until the End of the World', 'The Machine Girl', 'The Prisoner', 'Le Samourai', 'ReAnimator' ... I'll add more to this list later. It's far from exhaustive.

Double bonus points if you find a typo in this profile. There are at least 3.

I call myself a 'writer', but I'm really more of a professor. I do a fair amount of freelance consulting, too. You'll have to ask for more information ... I can't give it all up before the first date!

Testing the waters, as it were, on plentyoffish. Yeah, bad pun. I know. I couldn't resist.

I'm totally at a loss for words here. Nothing that involves flying to Africa or Russia. And no trips to the Western Union office.

Female
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