Oh Abe Lincoln from the Roserem commercials, where are you? I've been bored and lonely since you left the cool petals of my sheets. Your stovepipe hat on my bedpost is all you left. Stop running around with that glorified rat and return to me. Or you get replaced by the Geico caveman.

I would love to mosey down to the piano bar near lake Merrit and sing loudly and badly drinking lemondrops until we close the place. Then we could go hang out with the geese lakeside.