| | Here is what other people say about me..
I narrowed it down to the best 100 + 5 bonus ones.
100. Is a man and can prove it
99. can tell time
98. only sometimes naked in public
97. does not drink from the toilet
96. does not wear a wig
95. hates the early morning
94. knows what the snooze button is for
93. has a drivers license
92. doesn’t change colors, melt or smear in the rain
91. misbehaves regularly
90. knows not to sing in public
89. makes funny faces
88. snores on occasion
87. willing to talk, sometimes grunts
86. has shoes
85. keeps keys on a ring
84. usually parks between the lines
83. knows shopping can be a competitive sport
82. has taken the helm of an aircraft carrier
81. applies fundamental reasoning
80. gets distracted by breasts, butts and nice legs
79. runs with sharp objects occasionally
78. knows cows and horses are different animals
77. is amazed by high heels
76. lets the telephone ring
75. eats with utensils
74. even tempered
73. has flown a plane
72. good with hands and has tools
71. scratches butt when itchy
70. can fix almost anything
69. wears underwear usually
68. sometimes thinks out loud
67. doesn’t require much ointment
66. uses a toothbrush
65. enjoys porn and takes notes
64. requires some direction
63. can add and subtract
62. has a passport
61. breaks highway speed limit
60. doesn’t wear much makeup
59. laughs with little kids
58. smiles a lot
57. pays attention to details
56. usually comes inside when it rains
55. bathes and washes face
54. looks before running into the street
53. reads, writes and speaks English
52. knows which buttons do what
51. and which ones to push
50. won't pee on the seat
49. doesn’t always color within the lines
48. does not believe in bathing suites in the pool or hot tub
47. always there when needed
46. not glued to TV during football, baseball, basketball season
45. been known to open doors for women
44. can roll tongue
43. makes paper airplanes
42. has lost bets. And won a few too
41. rocks and rolls
40. dresses self
39. likes things that go BANG
38. uses made-up words for fun
37. laughs at self
36. knows flip-flops aren’t for every occasion
35. dances funny
34. has good timing
33. potty trained
32. reads directions first
31. has hammer and will use it
30. willing and able
29. usually on time
28. not on medication (not too much anyway!)
27. does hand puppets
26. sends postcards (with made up stories)
25. quite a good shot
24. can wait patiently
23. has not ever waxed
22. can tie shoes and button shirts
21. says “Wow”
20. only farts out loud in private
19. can see his feet
18. shaves (yes there too)
17. has been finger printed (only for good reasons)
16. knows "grab ass" shouldn't be played in ALL public places
15. likes giving massages
14. washes and combs hair regularly
13. doesn't point out your underwear lines
12. washes feet daily
11. knows you are "more special"
10. all appendages and digits are attached
9. knows how the washer and dryer work and can fix them
8. don't have to always look for the car keys
7. knows how to use a map
6. will tickle without notice
5. always puts the lid down
4. has cried during a movie
3. knows every curve is worth kissing
2. changes underwear daily
1. doesn't get PMS!
5 bonus as suggested by another member!
5. Meticulous enough to not have skipped even one number from 1-100.
4. Gets that humor has levels.
3. Actually reads profiles.
2. Might still answer message from someone with no photo if it seemed she had a really good reason not to post one.
1. Easily intrigued.
Please write to me if you have skinny chicken legs, a mustache, you kind of tilt to one side, are missing digits, have breasts that sit at your waist line, have thin scraggly hair, a roving eye, a slight hump in your back, yellow teeth, both arms that appear to hang real low, there's a bump on the back of your head, a lisp, blotchy skin, a huge nose, sunken eye sockets, and a stink that will not wash off. You'll need to be seriously needy too and unable to focus your eyes very well. Controlled drooling is a plus. And I need more head games too. I need a woman who'll mess with my head. I need that special woman to drive me nuts. When her life is in turmoil I can stop my life to soothe her battered ego. Jealous head cases absolutly turn me on! I love being nagged at. And I feed off negativity too so, so bring it on. In summary, I am a man with a big heart and am extremely giving. If you take advantage of me, I‘ll be happy to torture you right back. In fact, I look forward to it for I am a merciless tickler. Really. I get great joy out of it! And I'll laugh while I'm tickling you too. I might even pee MY pants! On a serious note, for those of you that have read this far and laughed and would like to read my actual serious Profile, please drop me a line! If you didn't laugh well LIGHTEN THE HELL UP AND LIVE A LITTLE! LIFE IS TOO SHORT! OH one more thing. What is it with the people that have 100, 200 even 300+ as favorites!? You have that many favorites and STILL have not found someone AND feel you need to be on here to find a date??!? I have to ask WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!? |
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