I have done a bunch of different profiles, usually something outlandish to show how sharp my wit is and to display my humor. This time I am just going to be as honest as possible and hope for the best response possible.

Historically, I have been the "nice guy project" for extremely beautiful women. In turn, each of them stomped on my heart when they got bored with the funny fat kid. What can I say about that...it sucked, but I deal. I am very romantic and stunningly handy with a love letter. My fire just doesn't throw as much heat as some douche named Chaz with shamelessly dirty hair and an intoxicating disregard for your feelings. I guess I am the good boyfriend that every hot girl thinks she wants until I end up seeming boring because I would rather cuddle than fight or make her jealous. I guess it is mainly my fault for letting in the blonde debutante rather than looking for compatability. Well, regardless of the historical response, I do have a lot to offer the right woman because of several personality traits: I am very courteous, affectionate, extremely loyal, and I am quite fun to be around as corroborated by quite objective friends and several random onlookers.

When I say I am funny...seriously I will make you tinkle on yourself, just try me with an email. At one point I was professionally funny, but it fizzled because real money is a stronger pull. I am regularly compared to Jack Black and I hate it but do realize that it is a compliment worth noting here.

I am fairly successful, pay my bills on time, covet good credit in a partner the same as I maintain mine, drive a nice car, am almost always happy and laughing, like to see new places, handy around the house, and am not a Philistine. My father taught me respect and sensitivity. My mother taught me empathy and looking out for yourself and your family first. A nice mix, I think. I have very simple tastes but I do like to try new things. I am a firm believer that you make your own luck in life and nothing is left to chance. I believe that hard work pays off. I believe that consistency and morality (different from just church) are quality traits.

I do have some negatives and I will short list them for you here with a short argument in the positive: I am obssessed with work(a good girl can break that), I have tight-knit friends and you will need to impress them too(I expect to do the same for you), I move quite a bit lately(it's how I make extra money and most of my homes suck- again see the good girl point), my hair is thinning(but my teeth are white), I am hard to argue with(if you are cute I will let you win), I am loud(I listen well).

I am just looking for a decent girl sans std's and wild bar life that can still cut loose. Are ya out there?

I think I can find something wonderful in just about anyone. All I ask is that you bring a willingness to laugh, and an open mind to spicy food. hehehe. ok that's not a deal breaker....but a refined palate is a plus.