Hi my name is Ismael and I am great guy. I graduated from the university of moscow in vodka drinking...very successfull...thank you. I like women...all of them. So don't be mad if I don't want to stay with you only. I will write more soon...thank you for choosing Ismael...best choice in your life...guaranteed...no joke!

P.S. My cow ESMERALDA suffered from cancer last year...she had cancer of anus, because of sexually dilusioned and deranged bull NOVAK THE STABBER. So I put this cancer support sign for her...I love her...really...no joke! But she ok now...i made surgical operation...very precise...she now has anus made of rubber. So please you too dear womens put cancer sign on your profile in honor of my cow....ESMERALDA...I love her...no joke...ok!!!

Thanx to all of you womens for write me and tell me how much you love me...i know you are crazy about me, but always remember...i will not settle down with any of you...because i love you aaaallll!!!

As you can see this profile is set up for jokes that will hopefully make you laugh as long as you don't take it seriously...have fun!

A lot of you females have asked me if I care about global warming, mother nature, gay sex marriage, straight sex marriage, sensitivity, abortion rights, the price of gas and why the price of potatoes went up from 3 cents a piece to 5 cents a piece...and after thinking for three days straight I say NO!!! Although the rising price of potatoes troubles me the most out of all these issues...the other ones...not so much.

Many females nowadays seem to be independent and don't want to stay home...which is very good because men now can stay home and watch tv all day like the women used to do 30 years ago. But I can not stay idle...Ismael always needs something to do, so I am not that kind of guy. Therefore one female has told me that she would not stay home for me to cook because she is independent and emancipated and has equal rights...that's ok...but I told her that I seriously can't cook. She said neither could she. But seriously when I cook I always almost kill myself. If I could I would charge the kitchen and its utensils for attempted murder on me, because all those ten times that I cooked I almost died because of circumstances...really...no joke!!! So I told her that and we came to the conclusion that she will cook for always from now on so that I can stay alive. We are very happy together now, she also has found another full time job on top of her previous one...I love her very much...no joke!!!...not as much as my dear cows ESMERALDA...but a lot...really...like...a lot.

A little bit about myself: No I'm not Ismael and I'm also not over 7 feet tall, neither am I a Professional Lion Tamer lol. I go to school and I work, I love life, I enjoy partying but also just relaxing and chilling out...but you gotta live it up as long as you're still young. I like writing stuff, as you can see, sometimes comedic sometimes dramatic, sometimes something else. Iike variety, especially in creativity. Nice red wines are also my passion. My family means the world to me, they are my reality, inspiration and motivation. I feel like I'm fortunate to have good friends and good ppl around me, thank you all for your love and support. I like ppl who are comfortable with themselves whoever or whatever they are. I'm also into all kinds of sports...outdoor and indoor, also watersports. And of course, snowboarding is just beyond great, one of the few reasons I look forward to winter. I'm also honest and staright forward, no bullshit. So thats a little bit about me, take care and happy fishing. :)

My own saying: Hello life! Here I am. My name is ***** ****, and I'm ready to live you for whatever you're worth!

-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put Thi s
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---account If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\- ///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Or whom maybe suffering from it

A perfect date would look something like this. I would pick all of you beautifull women up in my tractor...and off course i would bring a trailer too, but watch out it's still a bit dirty with cow dropping...sorry. Then i would show you my mud house with a door knob...bought it yesterday from a gypsy. We would then all go excercising in the field by digging for potatoes and around corn. After that we can eat at my mothers place...she makes the best pig brain everr!!! Sorry mrs. Wallabi you are not so good like my mother. At night i would show you the romantic moon on the roof of my swine stall...you will get used to the smell after 15 minutes...trust me. And plus you will be in love with me...so you will forget about smell. Thank you for choosing Ismael once again...i will not dissapoint you...i exceed your expectations!