What can i write in this tiny box which will make you sit up and take notice of me?

I have been on this site for a while now, and i am beginning to think that it is not a dating site any more, but a hang out for the insane. Does anybody on this site ever find a date? My bet is no no no.

my new profile:

Disloyal married male seeks simple female for fun times (at your expense) not willing to meet until after 9.00pm most nights, will lie to you, take your money and treat you as a joke.

mobile number is a must! I will hide yours under the name of stan.

Must have own house and car.

Must be activity partner

Must be blond haired or willing to dye.

thanks for your time, let the good times begin xxxxxx


P.S. Sorry i forgot to mention that i work away alot.


Ex girlfriends or bits on the side need not apply.


Oh yes I forgot to say I like to take alot of drugs!


P.P.S. Only message me when you have had a few drinks and cannot be ars*d with the good looking bloke with the personality bypass on page 5

Turn up late.

Just chill out at your expense.

Leave at 10.30 Just about the time the bill arrives.

P.S. Don't put me on your favourite list.

P.P.S If you viewed me, and you dont leave me a message I will stalk

you!!!!!! BE WARNED.