I cannot sleep anymore! Any other insomniacs out there?

This is the funniest line I've read on here this week! Thank you lady who wrote it!
(One date actually said, "You can come home with me - don't worry, my mom won't think you're a skank.) As if the reassurance would make a difference???


I'm seeking the fattest, ugliest, dumbest woman I can lay eyes on. You need to be short and I mean like little person short. And fat......and not fat like Oprah fat I'm talking fat like Aretha Franklin fat! And dumb...the dumber the better. Dumber than Paris Hilton. And ugly......Uglier than Sarah Jessica Parker! And dishonest....I want you to lie to me all the time and cheat on me as well! And I want you to be poor.....Grapes of Wrath poor......And I want you to spend all of my money on ugly, fat clothes! And you had better have kankles! And varicose veins thicker than an Anaconda crawling up both legs!

As for me...... I'm a fat, lazy, ugly cheatin' **stard who hasn't ever really worked a real job........ I got 8 kids by 9 baby mommmas...... I live in my parents basement....... I don't drive on account of my 7 DUI convictions........And I'm so broke I can't pay attention! SO if you meet the criteria and like what you see in me please feel free to contact me.

A first date would be dinner at Arby's then sneaking into a movie at the drive-in. Then we go back to my parents house where we sneak into the basement and I give you a wet rag bath outta the slop sink in the laundry room before we have sweaty, disgusting, unprotected sex....for 28 seconds! My Mom will make us grits for breakfast in the afternoon when she wakes up!
Sound good? Message me!!!

If you laugh out loud after reading this crap consider yourself one of 10% of women in the world I would sleep with! Only smart women realize this is a joke. You won't believe how many women messaged me thinking I was serious! It seems one in ten of you are intelligent enough to realize this is a joke....That being said...I only sleep with smart women or supermodels. (Roughly 10% of the female population) ( And longer than 28 seconds! LOL! )