Please be aware Zombies are amongst us. It is the Zombie Plague that is causing the Greenhouse emissions, the Economic Crisis, and even small puppies to leave stinky yellow puddles on your new carpet. Please be aware that anyone can be a Zombie, your friends, neighbors, hell even your goldfish Frank.

I am looking for someone who is well equipped to handle herself during the coming Armageddon of the living versus the dead. I plan to stand tall on the mountain of flesh eating corpses that I have sent back to hell, with smoking shotgun in one hand and my feisty, ass-kicking dame in the other.

Please note the following qualities I need in my damsel:

-Must be able to handle and maintain most small arms. You don't need to know all about them, if not anything else know which end is the ouchie end.
-Destroying the undead is messy business, so unless you can kick down a door with high heels, be ready to get dirty.
-Have skills. I know I'm totally badass, but you may get stranded when I go in a Zombie killing, beserker rage.
-You better be easy on the eyes, cause you ain't gonna look any better covered in Zombie gore.


Well that should be it. I hope you end up on my side rather then a shambling mess doomed to walk the Earth in the nonstop search of warm human flesh.

Alright I guess I have to add some more stuffs here. I am not looking for a perfect girl, I am not looking for my soulmate, nor am I looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, I prefer to take each day a day at a time. I am looking for someone who gets my brand of humor. Simple, understand a joke. If you made it this far into my profile after I probably sent you some crazy email, then you probably match that requirement. The second thing I look for is someone who isn't fractured. I understand that if you get my humor, you're probably considered a bit off by normal cultural standards, but I am not looking for someone who can't shut up about their ex, has deep seeded daddy issues, or who is the emotional equivalent of a shoe. Lastly, I have a horrible evil toddler son, who I am raising to be Hellspawn. I keep him out of my dating life, but once and a while he may be around wreaking havoc and discord. So if you run in fear at the site of a cute devil child, I am probably not the guy for you. So in summation, understand dark humor and sarcasm, don't be broken, and deal with the fact I am a father, not too much to ask for I suppose.

Oh and I don't play the whole chat game either. So please, if you work for some stupid porn chat site, I am not joining, your wasting your time. This place seems to be infested with theses carrion.