Just a bit about me. I know how to have a good time, the last time I did I woke up 3 states away in a county jail dressed like a clown, wearing women's underwear. I love to laugh, I like to go to the park and trip the elderly and small children. I feed pigeons laxatives in central park. I love to keep people on there toes. I went into a bank and forced the teller at gunpoint to take food stamps. I once stole my brothers car and drove it into the east river (yes that was me). I am a sex addict, I am not a person you want to take home to your mother, church the supermarket. I fight, drink and sleep with whatever moves (sometimes it doesnt have to move). I am very good at all those things, except in combination. If I am having sex then I shouldn't fight.
I do not plan on making it to the age of 35 so take me now and have your way with me. To be with me you must meet the following criteria. Have a bottle of Vodka ice optional, that is all. Please be advised I am a freak in bed, but I do not use clowns, animals, chains, belts, ropes, whips, or fat free whip cream and car batteries (not any more).
By the way if you take this profile seriously then please do not contact me. Because you are clinically insane. Please take your meds and have a beautiful life. Thank you.
P.S. Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex. that's my favorite line on here, lol. I just want to date you maybe marry you someday but please there is to be no sex involved.

Im usually pretty drunk before I go out for drinks, so if I am wearing pants then it will be a good night. I have to assume alot of kissing. I probably will be staring at you the whole night(not in a psycho way, that's just crazy) Please wear what you want, I have a great imagination. Then we will just end up back at your place. Once I am that wasted I really dont remember where I live anyways. At this point I'm surprised that you are still reading this, lol. Especially if you dont even think I'm funny. I apologise for not giving you the real inside me, lol. I dont think that can be done in one paragraph

Female