Caveat Lector

Alright ladies, so I've opted not to write anything about myself in this text field. Mainly because many of you are so dense that the onus invariably falls to me to attempt to stimulate the conversation. So I have to save something to converse about later. Unfortunately, a vast majority of you turn out to have the mental capacity and personality of a brick of cheese anyway. Having said that, I don't think there's much left for me here. But for the remaining days, fasten your seat belts, enjoy the ride and don't forget to ask your Steward about the Internet dating Theory

Be forewarned, this profile was not meant to be nice. You can call me a pompous, arrogant, ego maniacal, narcissistic, bourgeoisie, elitist jackass if you'd like (and you'd be right. Look at it this way: it beats being an uncultured hoodrat cun-t); but the bottom line is, yes, I do have a high level of expectation from the people I choose to message on this site. Don't sit there and self-righteously say that you don't have a certain level of expectations as well; superficial or otherwise.

As a pre-emptive rebuttal to any whiners out there who have issues with my profile please note that:

1. I have not once claimed to be perfect, I'm a Perfectionist. There's a difference.
2. I have not once asked that others be perfect; I do ask that they at least make an attempt to Better themselves. But let's make that attempt reasonable please? A lot of you are setting some pretty lofty goals for yourselves...
3. The word "perfect" in itself is a relative term anyway; much like "normal" or "equality"
4. Learn what a Venture Capitalist does before you make any unsubstantiated allegations
5. Don't be surprised that other women bother reading my profile in spite of its "offensive" content; after all, you're reading it right now. Furthermore, I'm happy to report that there are people who agree with my assessment that you are retarded if you fall under one or more of the descriptions below (Please see the number of people who have added me to their 'Favorites List'.)
6. This is a dating site, not a Christian bible study group so don't be surprised when the topic of sex comes up in a conversation.

Now, without further ado and in no order of importance:

1. Strung together letters such as Dun, lik, dis, dat, shuld, gud, fo et cetera et cetera, are not English words. Furthermore, "U" is the 21st letter of the alphabet, not a personal pronoun. Also, plural words DO NOT end with a 'z'. Conversely, 2 and 4 are numbers, not words, even when they're being used in the context of a word. The moral of this story is: If you're going to spell like you're retarded, expect me to treat you as such.

Also, it is now a fact that children between the ages of 12 to 18 who use "Web-speak", retard their learning abilities in school.

Parents: Help make the usage of "Web-Speak" a punishable offense for your kids... it should fall under the same category of morals as: "Don't do drugs", "Stealing and Lying is wrong" & "Don't sit so close to the TV"

Jesus Christ, I know kids with MS, former and current crack addicts and illegal Asian immigrants who can read, write and speak better English than you. Get with the program already; it's called Hooked on Phonics. Moreover, how is it that I can speak 6 languages and you can barely speak one??

2. Don't lie to me about appearances not mattering, and I won't lie to you about not being a pig.
Reality Check = All men are pigs. What rock have you been living under? And don't think for a second that the 'nice guy' you're chatting with right now on MSN isn't a pig too. He's an even bigger pig than I am. As you're reading this, he's trying to lie, cheat and steal the pants off of you isn't he? Yes, pun intended. Having said that, Physical attraction is an important variable. Don't bother denying it, you didn't click on my profile because you knew what I had to say would be interesting

3. Despite what Professor Snoop Dogg and his T.A. 'Fitty' has taught you, "Gangstas(z)", "Hustlas(z)" and "Pimps(z)" are not respectable professions. Furthermore, "Hos(z)" are not your employees, therefore they aren't capital expenses and cannot be tax deductible.

4. What possesses people to TyPe LiKe ThIs? AlTeRnAtInG cApItAl LeTtErS iS nOt OnLy TiMe CoNsUmInG, iTs AlSo aBsOlUtElY pOiNtLeSs AnD eXcEeDiNgLy AnNoYiNg

5. Do not call yourself a "Playboi". First of all, you spelled it wrong stupid. Secondly, do you know what a Playboy is? Women by definition cannot be Playboys.

6. Don't brag about being a stripper or a gold digger. Firstly, you sound stupid. Secondly, it leads me to believe that you don't think before you speak or type. Thirdly, if you want every guy on this site to exploit you for your "Talents", it'd be much easier for you to stand at the corner of Highway 7 and McCow.... err I mean Carlton and Jarvis between the hours of 1 to 4 am, but I digress... And finally, if you truly are a stripper or golddigger, don't you think it should be one of those pleasant surprises that you see on Daytime talk shows? I can see the episodes' title now... : "Surprise! I've cleared out your bank account, had sex with your bestfriend after giving him a lap dance and now I think I'm having his baby... next on Maury Povich"

7. So I've been reading a few profiles of women looking for "Bad boys or 'Bad Bois' with good hearts". Well, these bad boys cannot by definition have a good heart; that would make them "Good Boys". I think what you're looking for is commonly known as "The Poseur"

8. English 101
You're = abbr. You are
ex. = You are a retard, You're a retard
do not use = Your a retard, Ur a retard

Your = possessive pronoun
ex. = Your friend is a retard

9. I can judge you all I want. Your opinion of yourself is obviously biased; and as such, you require the opinion from a third party to tell and expose you when you are wrong. Face it, we live in a judgmental society; why do you think American Idol is the highest rated show in its time slot?

Addendum I

Okay, so I've been receiving complaints about the usage of the word "Retard". Now before you write to me whining about comparing people on this site, to people with "actual" mental disabilities. I think you should all look up the word "Retard" in the dictionary. In the event you don't have one handy, it states:

1. Mental retardation: (also called mental handicap and the UK Mental Health Act (1983) defines mental impairment and severe mental impairment) is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning.