**Update - November/09** I'm not meeting anyone at this time as I am coping with a personal loss/bereavement. I may see you in the forums however. If you can't even read this far in the profile and message me with a "hey baby, let's meetup," then be prepared - I will be all over you like a firing squad with Tourettes Syndrome. And that's not gonna be pretty!

Best of luck to everyone - be well...........

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Hello stranger - "spanks" for stopping by.........now sit down, cop a squat, grab an energy drink, as this is going to take awhile....anyone who can actually get through this entire tome will get my full attention. I recently took the Seduction Style Guide, and for what it's worth, you can find it here: http://www.plentyoffish.com/seductionresults.aspx?result=wndbrivnidixrq45ueqrtwfj80332

Last Forum Threads: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/usermessages.aspx?user_Id=5181073

First off, let me explain that I don't use MSN or Yahoo. The mere mention of chatting on Yahoo or MSN will not only cause my eyes to glaze over, but my entire head will glaze over! Aside from the fact that this isn't a good look for me, you probably won't hear from me again.....I probably won't chat with you in-real-time, because just about the only person who is getting real-time chat from me these days is my mother....

A little about me (actually, it's totally too much, but at least some of it is about YOU)..... I enjoy a game of pool and scuba (although not at the same time), and can sail a large boat singlehandedly. I have the distinction of being the world's worst golfer - no wait, I do believe that there is a gypsy in Moldavia who is a worse golfer than I. Nor am I much of a dancer - you won't see a booty-shakin' flygirl routine from me! I'm also not the kind of cook who can whip up a five-course meal on a radiator either! Boy, it's not looking so good so far, is it?

Hopefully as I've grown older I've also grown wiser, but one thing I've definitely become cognizant of is the difference between making a living and making a life. Frequently outraged by some of life's cruelties, and respect diversity. But.....I don't suffer fools gladly.

I love to discuss literature, science, philosophy, and sci-fi , or even why Seinfeld is funny on so many levels. Words move me. I'm very soft-hearted about most things, especially animals, but I have a stoicism about me that is sometimes interpreted incorrectly. I do have a definite edge and an often "retro-adolescent" sense of humour at times. You've been warned - I am a smart-ass. My carnival does not have scary rides - unless you like that sort of thing! I'll also take this opportunity to out myself as pan-sexual.

I do like to surround myself with avant-garde thinkers (when I can find them).........even though I have trouble keeping up. I'm an eclectic vegetarian, and as such, it's a personal practice of mine to seduce innocent meat-eaters into cruising the salad bars at every opportunity. You would be powerless to resist.

I spend way too much time creating totally dope playlists on my iPod.....Favourite music would be any female singer/songwriter, Lady GaGa, Jakalope, All American Rejects, Amy Winehouse (will she ever get sober and lose that crack-hive?), Lily Allen, Andreas Vollenweider, Daft Punk, Massive Attack, Coldplay, Nelly Furtado, Evanescence, Interpol, Goldfrapp, Emiliana Torrini, Prodigy, Royksopp, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Primal Scream, Moby, The Doves, Death in Vegas, Jack Johnson, Regina Spektor, Annie Lennox, Armin Van Buren, The Clash, Zero 7, Sigur Ros, Crowded House, Delerium/Enigma, Depeche Mode, Feist, Enya, Imogen Heap, Pink, Garbage, The Pixies, Jealous Girlfriends, Simple Minds......I also love classical music of any kind; chamber music in particular.

Watching TV is not that important to me, but I enjoy movies - favourites include Amelie, Layer Cake, The Crying Game, Disco Pigs, The Lover, The English Patient, Donnie Darko, The Grifters, Chasing Amy, Being John Malkovich, Love and Human Remains, The Constant Gardener, Exotica, "10", Black Widow, Lost in Translation, Roger Dodger, Stranger Than Fiction, Contact, Minority Report, Igby Goes Down, Pan's Labyrinth, and A.I.

So, who am I looking for? Someone sexy, edgy, intense, intelligent, blessed with good manners, and preferably university educated. You might be quite bookish, or even geeky, so it follows that you are also able to use proper spelling and grammar. You are passionate about equality, and you must love animals! A guy who loves to blast animals with a shotgun is not exactly what I'm looking for (please get help). I work with animals, so being with someone who shoots them is anathema to me. As a free-thinker, your mind will be your most challenging and appealing quality - I'd love for you to tickle my synapses (smile). Maybe you even like sexual power games. You laugh and cry with the same intensity. You are someone whose image will come to me at the most inconceivable moments. You do need to be about 5'10" - that's not an arbitrary number, since I'm around 5'10" or 5'11" with my shoes on.......and I do like my heels...sorry if this seems harsh! You do need to be a non-smoker, because I'm a firm believer that the only time you should ever smoke is if you're on fire. Did I mention single? I also need someone who can accept that I need time on my own. If you can't accept this, we're not a match.

Now what did I do with the car keys? Oh, that's right, I can never find them until I actually stop looking for them. I am beginning to think that the same is true for relationships - you cannot find what you want or need while you're actively searching....I know you must be out there in cyberspace and I know that when you read these words, you will feel compelled to respond. Maybe, upon meeting you, I'll be inspired to be a better person in some way! That elusive physical attraction called chemistry, must be there.

I'm really only here for the forums, since I'm not really interested in dating anyone. If you do have at least some of the characteristics I'm looking for, and can back that up with some of the same interests, I'll think hard about revising my stance. I'm not trying to make anyone jump through hoops, but we all get emails from people with whom we share absolutely nothing in common; surely we can make a reasonable distinction about who makes a good candidate for a date, since most of us acknowledge that dating, at least in theory, is supposed to lead to some kind of relationship. How can you have a relationship if you have no commonalities with which to relate?

Besides, dating conjures up ridiculous images of that TV show "Matchmaker" - where attractive self-made millionaires need help finding a gold-digging sweetheart, and they rendezvous in Vegas for a first date! If you really want to meet, may I suggest something light and relaxed, with no pressure. If you're interested in the whole "courtship" angle, I would suggest that you find someone more amenable to that - she's not here. The whole "dinner/movie/theatre/dancing" thing is way too over-the-top for me - I don't want someone trying to spend a whole lot of money trying to entertain me, when we can entertain ourselves for free - great convo trumps expensive dates any day!

No coffee/donut shops! The donut shop is only one step up from a drive-by viewing at a gas station. We might as well just get together and eat a bunch of caramels, it's about as arbitrary as coffee.

Attending a lecture together accompanied by food/wine can also provide us with great convo - maybe there is a Cafe Scientifique event coming up? If you have never been to one, check it out at cafescientifique.ca. Or perhaps we could feed some ducks while drinking wine and playing chess in the park? (this applies to summer/fall only, but ducks want to be fed all year-round of course!) Or spend some quality time reading "Soldier of Fortune" mag together....GOOD TIMES!