now then, i’m a female so that means I’m complicated, often times contradictory, but not really prone to bouts of emotional fireworks and an evolved and ever-evolving human being.
i am not a quick or easy read so if you are going to connect with me you are going to have to be willing to make an investment of time to know this complex and adorable creature that has a heart that is capable and desiring of a great love.
still reading?

i'm not looking for a quick fling, a slow burn or anything in between. i realize i must date in order to find my match, but all i really want is someone who takes my breath away; other than that there are no wish lists, restrictions, criterias, do's or donts, haves or have nots.......its really very simple isn't it?

like most other people i cannot describe myself in a few sentences with a computer keyboard; i am everchanging and layer upon layer of contradictions, confusions, emotions, feelings, interests and thoughts....much like the onion, where as you peel back each layer there are oh so subtle changes, til what you see in the middle is very different than what you see outside. hmmmmm or like the facets in a diamond when all the digging, cutting and polishing is done...maybe i should have called myself onion girl or diamond girl, but one seems so ordinary and the other so pretentious, and although i can lay claim to a myriad of traits, a lot of them contridictory, and not all of them flattering, ordinariness and pretention are not among them.

i have a great career, travel and mingle with some wonderfully creative people, so you can’t be a jealous guy either. i’m wanting a man who has his own life, his own career, is balanced, considers his baggage a matched set of carry on luggage, and wants to settle with a woman of his dreams.

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some little known facts that may or may not interest/amuse you:

i have a (well not so)secret(now)desire to be a mariachi player; aside from the music they get to wear the coolest pants ever!

i usually always wear boots, but have perfectly manicured toes

i'm very pragmatic for all my hippy/gypsyish ways

my nic was actually given to me by a male colleque, and he meant it in a highly complementary way; i'm not a horror show, or manipulative and any inference to kink is purely incidental.

i like "boy" movies

i'll walk an hour to avoid a 10 minute car ride

i find the sumo wrestler on the subaru ad one of the sexiest male images i've seen in a long time

my very good friend once described me as "rebecca of sunnybrook farm mets punk ass b*&@ch"....what can i say; its pretty accurate :):)

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lately i find myself at a bit of crosswords in my life; which is weird.....its been a long time since i've second guessed myself, my choices, and which paths i've followed. but here's where i find myself:

how I wish I could surrender my soul;
shed the clothes that become my skin;
see the liar that burns within my needing.
how I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
how I wish I had screamed out loud,
instead I've found no meaning.

i guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
all pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
hides my true shape, like dorian gray.
i've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
it's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

how I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
hold memory close at hand,
help me understand the years.
how I wish I could choose between heaven and hell.
how I wish I would save my soul.
i'm so cold from fear.

i guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
all pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
hides my true shape, like dorian gray.
i've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
far, far away; find comfort in pain.
all pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
it's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

...........courtesy of james blunt

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i so do love pierce turner; he slays me.


you could never put yourself in my brain
and feel what it felt like in the dodge polaris
speeding down a new hampshire highway

caring not about the slippery road
or the poor visibility, with the limited signal
stretching out, take a walk on the wild side

you could never feel the creation
of the dreams I was drafting
sitting there breathless and paralysed

shapes of horses and armoured warriors
chasing through a hallowed field
you have to forgive me tonight
if I seen disappointed trying to find a hole in your veneer
that comes close to being there

and what it felt like
i'm in that corner now
at the far side of the room
i don’t hear rain and babbling

it felt so god to hear those coloured girls sing

you can never feel what it felt like
standing in a church full of boy sopranos
all singing faith of our father’s at the top of their hearts

oh the sanctity and bouncing out vibrations
winging off my hat and flying into the incense, sun and stained glass windows

my fathers hand upon my back
the nicotine stained index finger
big and rough, but love can’t always be articulate

why am I trying oh so desperately to tell you
so you can tell me what it is we can do with it
what I don’t want

it felt so good to hear those choir voices

faith of our fathers will remain
we will be true to thee til death



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i really love this passage from redemption.....very powerful.

"the first cut is not the deepest; the first cut is nothing.
you can spit in my face once or twice and is nothing.
you can take something away that belongs to me-and i can learn to live without it.
but you cannot take all that belongs to me-one thing at a time, until you have gotten down to reaching for my eyes, my heart, my soul.....
you cannot do this and say it is nothing."



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neither need you do anything but be yourself..............