http://www.facebook.com/robbiewilkes

Dear Santa,

What's up big guy?

Sooooooo, yeeeeah! Looks like another Christmas is fast approaching and, yep, you guessed it... alone again. Figure if I get my letter in earlier this year, maybe we can avoid delays and, who knows, get the bugs worked out in advance.

C'MON!! You still owe me for the time you brought me the typewriter instead of the Atari 2600.

How about this, I give you a quick breakdown of what I'd like for Christmas this year and you see what you can do? I mean, I know you don't drop by till Christmas Eve, but, hey, if I could just have her by New Year's Eve that would be great. You know as well as I do, it sucks rolling up on midnight without someone special to kiss. Well, maybe you don't, being as how you have Mrs. Claus and all, but, still, think about the rest of us.

Okay here goes.

First, you know she's gotta be sweet, sane and smart. I mean, we've seen how well I deal with ladies lacking in any of those qualities. Just doesn't work. Sure, the smartass comments are cute every once in while, but they get old. Crazy, well it's good for a couple of laughs, until the medication wears off, then LOOK OUT!! And, really, if they can't carry on a decent conversation, or understand the difference between your & you're or there & their, I just don't think we'd be compatible.

Speaking of which, any possibility that there are any geek girls out there anywhere? Santa, fess up, where are you hiding 'em? I'm not looking for anything too extreme. Just somebody that enjoys movies and television, may have read a comic book somewhere in their past, and would be excited to attend a midnight showing of a new comic book flick with me and my two boys. Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm asking a LOT there, huh jelly belly? Oh well, just putting it out there, not holding my breath.

BTW, you know how affectionate and touchy-feely I am, so I need someone that really enjoys attention, giving and receiving. She needs to like to kiss, hug and be touched, privately or in public. Sit on my lap and put her arms around my neck, walk hand in hand. Did I mention kissing?

Along with that, well you know how much I love to laugh. I mean, this has been a REALLY TOUGH year, but I still managed to get in a few chuckles. It's really important to me that my someone special know how to enjoy life, to laugh loud and often and help me look on the bright side in my dark moments, as I will for them.

Next, well, you know my political leanings Nick, I'm a big ole liberal. Oh, I know that gets your "Ho Ho Ho"s a flowing, since I'm here in NASCAR country, where folks believe wrasslin' is real and killing Bambi is a sport, but just hear me out, okay. There just HAS to be a lovely lady out there that can think for themselves. Heck, surely there's one that, after seeing the events of the past 8 years, scraped that DuhBya off their windshield and walked away from the dark side.

In the same vein, it's important that this woman be a Christian, though, PLEASE, no more "church girls". I know this goes a little bit back to the Smart / Sane request earlier, but, as far as their Faith goes, they need to understand the difference between it and religion. I have no desire to be beaten about the head and ears with the Bible by someone who can quote & manipulate scripture to suit whatever point they're tying to make. I guess I'm looking for a gal that can go and have a good time on Friday and Saturday, but shake it off and go with me to church (non-denominational, contemporary-Christian) on Sunday morning.

Oh, as for the drinking thing, even though I don't do it, I wouldn't mind if she did (would fit in well with my friends and family), but, Santa, you know how I feel about smoking & drugs. Yeah, yeah, that would put them on your naughty list too.

Hmmmm... speaking of which. Uhhhh... let's be honest, I'm not exactly the kind of guy who's looking for someone who earned too many gold stars on that good girls' list. Let's just say, I probably would would be better off if she's got a few check marks on the naughty side. You know what I'm talkin' about, doncha!

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah, physical. I can't say it doesn't matter to me, cause it does. Somehow I always manage to date attractive women, and I'd like to continue that pattern, if you don't mind. I'm not looking for a supermodel, just someone with a pretty face, a lovely smile and eyes that light up when they see me. You know I'm not really into skinny, don't want to have to worry about breaking her, but not too big either. As far as "color" goes... surprise me! I'm not worried about the skin tone, she certainly doesn't have to match anything in my world, other than my heart.

Oh, lest I forget, you know me and my "foot thing" by now, right? Yep, pretty and well-taken care of. Guess you don't see a lot of bare feet at the North Pole do ya? Think I'll stay here where it's warm.

Honestly, I'm just looking for my best friend. Someone to spend my days and nights with. To wake up next to, come home to and lay down at night, with her lying in my arms. Santa, I want the dream.

Well, guess that's about it for now, but if I think of anything else, I'll get back to ya. Tell the Missus and Rudolph I said "Hi!" Oh, and, as added incentive, I'll leave out a piece of my chocolate chip pecan pie for you again this year. If you do good, maybe, next year, a WHOLE pie.

First dates for me are all about getting to know each other, testing chemistry and just seeing how comfortable you feel together. Dinner and / or coffee are great starts, allowing time for conversation and for the "jitters" to wear off. Afterwards, if you've been talking and exchanging emails for a while, and have already established a bit of a rapport, then a movie or play could be fun, otherwise, a walk in the park or around a small town's center allows you to continue talking. Sex should not happen, no matter how passionate the kisses, or how much she begs.